Some people believe that traveling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
As an outcome of the rapid globalization process, in the contemporary world, travelling has become more available,
comparing
to the previous centuries. Wrong verb form
compared
However
, nowadays, it is put to a debate; whether it is a vast source of gaining essential experience or how others count it as a time
-consuming and expensive action. This
essay will discuss both views and support the premier point.
To begin
with, it is often believed that several soft skills, such
as sociability, which cannot be learned in own country, will be gathered through travelling internationally. Communicating with a person, who possesses a different culture and language, might be beneficial in a gradual self-development and give an opportunity to learn them visually. In addition
, taking trips overseas would broaden minds and maintain a global citizen. For example
, people, travelling a lot can accept various mentalities, cultures and religions effortlessly.
On the other hand
, it cannot be denied that travel abroad requires huge financial support and time
. Considering the fact that in a plethora of tourist attractions
the cost of journey tickets, accommodation and food is comparatively higher, Add a comma
attractions,
therefore
, an immense amount of money is obligatory. For instance
, rental apartments for a short time
are in demand, and they are necessary to
tourists, Change preposition
for
relatively
they will Rephrase
apply
have
cost more expensive. Unnecessary verb
apply
Moreover
, in order to realize all mentioned actions, plenty of time
is required. Adaptation to the new community, finding
suitable airlines, accommodation and journeys requires Correct word choice
and finding
time
.
To sum up
, there is good evidence both to upheld
and disprove the view regarding the trips overseas. In my opinion, tourism is the root of the social qualities and essential, priceless experience.Wrong verb form
uphold
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on
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task response
Ensure that your response directly addresses all parts of the task question. Make sure to discuss both views in more detail rather than providing a brief overview. Provide more specific examples and elaborate on each point to support your ideas effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a generally logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some ideas could be better connected within and between paragraphs for improved coherence and cohesion. Use transition words and linking devices to connect your ideas more effectively and create a smoother flow.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?