Many people consider celebrities such as actors and athletes to be their role models. Do you think that people should look up to celebrities as role models? What other types of people are worthy of admiration?
Practically, more
people
now appreciate some famous actors and successful athletes, whom they evaluate as their exemplify models. In my view, it is highly likely that an ideal figure should be an individual who generates beneficial returns for their community and nation, so there is no evidence Use synonyms
to conclude
a type of occupation is a supreme idol. It is admitted that Linking Words
teachers
bring a lot of positive outcomes to the future national generation, whose lecturers should deserve the standard of an ideal figure.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, there is no logical to assess an individual as a role model including a celebrity. Linking Words
Firstly
, in order to consider anyone as an ideal model, we need to weigh their generated benefits for their surrounding Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
In particular
, Linking Words
celebrities
usually could participate in environmental volunteer campaigns, some blood donation events or any useful activities for their nation, which would improve their image from the general public’s viewpoint. A few famous singers in the world, Use synonyms
for instance
, have established their anthropology organization with the main monetary source from their global music concerts, which have covered educational fees for plenty of African students. Linking Words
Hence
, more Linking Words
people
who never heard these singers’ songs before became respected and felt really excited about their catchy songs after reading their charity contributions in newspapers. Use synonyms
Secondly
, an ideal figure not only achieves their special rewards through their career path but Linking Words
also
has extreme power in the prevalence of multimedia platforms. Linking Words
Therefore
, it is truthful that more useful successful Linking Words
celebrities
have become role models for youngsters, whose idols are not only humour but Use synonyms
also
integrity and compassion.
There are indeed infinitely more Linking Words
people
who deserve the same recognition as Use synonyms
celebrities
do, and some of them are Use synonyms
teachers
. It is true that they play a pivotal role in shaping the world’s education. Use synonyms
In other words
, Linking Words
teachers
are the cornerstone of the future of an educated workforce. Use synonyms
Therefore
, a world without its existence would regress and result in a less intelligent society. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
teachers
have spent most of their lives trying to impart wisdom and foster the growth of many generations, only to be rewarded unjustly. As for their substantial dedication, Use synonyms
teachers
should be held in high regard and treated Use synonyms
as well as
other professions.
In conclusion, I think Linking Words
people
’s adoration for their idols should not turn into an effort to imitate them. Use synonyms
Also
, Linking Words
teachers
exemplify great models to look up to, and Use synonyms
hence
they should receive the same, if not more than, recognition as Linking Words
celebrities
.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be clearer; for example, phrases like 'evaluate as their exemplify models' and 'there is no logical to assess an individual' are grammatically incorrect and could be better structured for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and fluency to ensure that your points are expressed clearly and coherently. This will help improve the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
While the examples of celebrities contributing to society are relevant, they could be more specific and detailed to provide stronger support for your argument.
task response
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the idea of celebrities as role models and other types of people who deserve admiration.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, offering a clear start and end point for your essay.
task achievement
The essay brings in relevant examples and ideas, such as how celebrities contribute to society and the importance of teachers, to support the main points.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.