Many people consider celebrities such as actors and athletes to be their role models. Do you think that people should look up to celebrities as role models? What other types of people are worthy of admiration?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Practically, more
people
now appreciate some famous actors and successful athletes, whom they evaluate as their exemplify models. In my view, it is highly likely that an ideal figure should be an individual who generates beneficial returns for their community and nation, so there is no evidence
to conclude
a type of occupation is a supreme idol. It is admitted that
teachers
bring a lot of positive outcomes to the future national generation, whose lecturers should deserve the standard of an ideal figure.
To begin
with, there is no logical to assess an individual as a role model including a celebrity.
Firstly
, in order to consider anyone as an ideal model, we need to weigh their generated benefits for their surrounding
people
.
In particular
,
celebrities
usually could participate in environmental volunteer campaigns, some blood donation events or any useful activities for their nation, which would improve their image from the general public’s viewpoint. A few famous singers in the world,
for instance
, have established their anthropology organization with the main monetary source from their global music concerts, which have covered educational fees for plenty of African students.
Hence
, more
people
who never heard these singers’ songs before became respected and felt really excited about their catchy songs after reading their charity contributions in newspapers.
Secondly
, an ideal figure not only achieves their special rewards through their career path but
also
has extreme power in the prevalence of multimedia platforms.
Therefore
, it is truthful that more useful successful
celebrities
have become role models for youngsters, whose idols are not only humour but
also
integrity and compassion. There are indeed infinitely more
people
who deserve the same recognition as
celebrities
do, and some of them are
teachers
. It is true that they play a pivotal role in shaping the world’s education.
In other words
,
teachers
are the cornerstone of the future of an educated workforce.
Therefore
, a world without its existence would regress and result in a less intelligent society.
Moreover
,
teachers
have spent most of their lives trying to impart wisdom and foster the growth of many generations, only to be rewarded unjustly. As for their substantial dedication,
teachers
should be held in high regard and treated
as well as
other professions. In conclusion, I think
people
’s adoration for their idols should not turn into an effort to imitate them.
Also
,
teachers
exemplify great models to look up to, and
hence
they should receive the same, if not more than, recognition as
celebrities
.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be clearer; for example, phrases like 'evaluate as their exemplify models' and 'there is no logical to assess an individual' are grammatically incorrect and could be better structured for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and fluency to ensure that your points are expressed clearly and coherently. This will help improve the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
While the examples of celebrities contributing to society are relevant, they could be more specific and detailed to provide stronger support for your argument.
task response
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both the idea of celebrities as role models and other types of people who deserve admiration.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, offering a clear start and end point for your essay.
task achievement
The essay brings in relevant examples and ideas, such as how celebrities contribute to society and the importance of teachers, to support the main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • influential
  • humanitarian
  • advocacy
  • platform
  • social change
  • distorted perception
  • unrealistic expectations
  • idealized
  • superficial
  • everyday heroes
  • tangible
  • intellectuals
  • innovators
  • ethical achievements
  • mentors
  • personal growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: