IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as the unemployed and the homeless. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #care
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is an undeniable fact that unemployment has been increased in the modern era it is often argued that authorities should take care of unable
people
Use synonyms
 who are homeless or unemployed ,
however
Linking Words
, I firmly agree with the given notion. Apparently, taking care of the employment and residence of disabled persons holds a wide range of constructive benefits.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, underprivileged
people
Use synonyms
 can not compete with the normal generation to show their abilities which cause no opportunities for them to themselves avail. The state should set some rules which can help disabled persons to achieve life goals and motivation of success in
this
Linking Words
 way they will not burden on the nation or their family.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the ministry gives some permanent scholarships to disabled
people
Use synonyms
 they will learn to enjoy free funds which can be used somewhere to improve health in other departments.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another point to consider is that the government should look after the individuals who have no home to live in.
This
Linking Words
 problem is
also
Linking Words
 related to employment, lack of
jobs
Use synonyms
 cause
people
Use synonyms
 to live in poverty and due to that youngster can not full fill their daily needs, ultimately, they distract from their path and choose the illegal way to satisfy themselves, thereby, the crime percentage is increased.
Hence
Linking Words
, to reduce
this
Linking Words
 illegal happening, the state should provide
jobs
Use synonyms
 for young
people
Use synonyms
 so that they earn money and can live a healthy life and become good citizens.
For instance
Linking Words
, the developed countries always give priority to their citizens to provide
jobs
Use synonyms
 and other facilities. To recapitulate, the administration should impose any law by considering their impact on individuals and
also
Linking Words
 provide
jobs
Use synonyms
 for young generation for their bright future and home to underprivileged persons
Submitted by fysl.iqbal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: