The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A healthy body is a home
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
a healthy mind.In the
last
,decade overweight issues and obesity is quite common in young ones.
This
is because of wrong eating habits and very limited physical exercise which is becoming the reason of overweight in folks.
This
obviously put a lot of strain on the health care system which faces difficulty to deal with
such
a large population in
this
context. According to some
people
,
this
can be controlled by providing suitable
education
on
this
subject. Some may even desire to include
this
as physical
education
lessons in the school curriculum. In regard to
this
, I strongly agree to have some sort of educational platform which can educate folks to live better in their workaholic
life
. To amplify
this
, if
such
programs will be introduced with some sort of prize money
then
even high rated results can be expected.
Otherwise
, after reading some reports particularly on health standards mentioned in some reputed web portals, the future looks quite dark. Every day we read the news that nowadays even young
people
are getting heart attacks. Consumption of inappropriate food(like junk food), late-night party culture, very long sitting habits on computer systems during office hours make
people
ill.
Furthermore
, the introduction of physical
education
lessons in the syllabus not only motivates children
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but parents are
also
encouraged to choose healthy activities to set an example for children.
In addition
, these activities become part of children's
life
. To Illustrate, in my boarding school it was mandated to do exercise daily. Now,
this
activity is a necessary part of my
life
.
This
encourages me to keep my weight in a healthy range to stay smart.
Hence
, healthy activities in school at a younger age motivate
people
to continue them in later
life
. To conclude, the increasing number of overweight
people
is putting a strain on the health care system. In an effort to solve
such
issues, many believe that introduction of physical
education
lessons into the course of study is necessary. I completely agree with
such
a statement.
Submitted by itsecty.ajay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: