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Writing Samples
Band 7

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions
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Income is the thing
people
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 considered most and all professionals would earn a lot of
money
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 than others but why successful
sports
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 professions can earn more than any others. Most
people
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 agree that it is unfair for other important professions to earn less
money
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 than successful sportsmen. Personally, I think it is completely justified since they need to work hard and need more time to practice and need a lot of mistakes to learn from.
First
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 of all, the way to become a successful
sports
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 professional is not easy since they need to learn from the mistake.
Moreover
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, there are not only practices to make them become perfect but they
also
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 need their health and encouragement both physically and mentally. There are a lot of
people
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 who dreamed to become professional sportsmen but because they cannot because they lacked some qualifications.
For example
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, you are a disorder so you have Parkinson’s disorder so you cannot play some
sports
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.
This
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 showed there are so tremendously factors before you can become
a professional sport
Correct the article-noun agreement
a professional sport sport
professional sport sports
show examples
sports
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; not everyone can easily be.
Furthermore
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, the
money
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 that they received might be a huge amount of
money
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 in other
people
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’s perspective but in professional sport’s families might think that it does not worthwhile at all; they toneed live their life at a risk that no one can tell if they going to faint. They have to endure and receive the expectations, pressure, and the glory of their teams from their fans, family, as well as themselves. Most
people
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 pay attention to what they will get more than what they lose. In conclusion,
people
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 pay attention to the
money
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 because it was the desire of humane but never thinking back on what they lost so I strongly believed that nothing comes easily if you did not put effort into it.
Submitted by chansatid on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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