Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school

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It is true that some commentators believe that

pupils

should stay on at

school

up to they are 18. I totally agree with

this

point of view, despite some arguments for quitting

school

in earlier years. There are some reasons why some

pupils

should quit

school

Firstly

instead

of pursuing higher education at university or college, a large number of people only follow vocational courses to enter trades

such

as plumbers and electricians or professions

such

as nursing, since there is graduate unemployment in the global economy.

Thus

, these

children

may fall behind

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

studies or even disrupt lessons.

Secondly

, the family background should be considered. In poor families, many

pupils

must earn money to contribute to the family income.

Moreover

, Not all parents can afford their

children

to continue their studies until they are 18.

However

, I concur with those who argue that

pupils

should continue to study at

school

up to 18. The

first

reason is that the provision of a wide range of courses would make learning meaningful

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that

children

can put the knowledge gained at

school

into practice at their workplaces in the future.

In addition

, the job market is becoming more competitive and demands workers with high educational qualifications and skills. Another reason is that

children

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the shapers of the nations tomorrow,

thus

they all must have a chance to continue to study at

school

until they are 18. Because of

this

, national and local authorities should provide funding for poor families to maintain their

children

school

. In conclusion, I believe that It is necessary for

pupils

to continue

school

until they are 18.

Submitted by nhatrangthanyeu2013 on Tue Sep 14 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

here are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce. Among them, money is the most important factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Smoking is not only harm to smoker but also those who are near by.Therefore smoking should banned in public places. To what extend do you agree or disagree

In many Western countries there is an increasing number of couples choosing to have no children for study what are the advantages and disadvantages to couples having no children?

In most countries, despite the benefits of cycling, fewer and fewer people are using bicycles as a means of transportation Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?