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Band 6

Some people say that the man environmental problem off our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both this views and give your own opinion.

#people #man #time #loss #species #plants #animals
It is argued by some people that the main environmental problem is the disappearing of different
species
 of plants and
animals
,
while
 some assume that there are other environmental issues that need our attention. The question arises in our mind, what are the obstacles that damage our environment? I completely agree with both ideas and will support my opinion with examples in
this
 essay. The first group considers the loss of flora and fauna as a major environmental issue. As both of the
species
 have their own importance, still with growing time the world is facing trouble with the
decay
 of specific
species
 of herbs and
animals
. We have lost many
species
while
 others are ready to disappear.
For example
, Dianasores have already disappeared from the world and
animals
 like Leopards, Gorillas, and American forest elephants are considered endangered creatures. The authorities are the reason behind their
decay
 and they are the ones, that can take measures to save them.
Furthermore
, the other crew assume that there are some other important environmental problems that are crucial for the world. The first reason is climate change. The destruction of the ozone layer and loss of flora are vital reasons that cause climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
. The change in climate brings many hurdles for humans in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 of air pollution, increase in temperature, certain skin and other diseases etc. The second reason is the melting of glaciers. When glaciers are melted, it rises the sea level and causes flood, which again is troublesome for human beings. As the earth is for humans their lives should be prioritized.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should make laws for solving these environmental issues because it will not only save humans from
decay
 but will
also
 save flora and fauna as well.
Hence
, it is proven that we have many environmental issues that are not only for the people on the earth
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but for plants and
animals
 as well. It is in the hands of the government to save them from
decay
.
Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on

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relevant specific examples
Introduce more specific examples to back up your points. Your current examples are quite general, and more specific ones could make your argument more compelling.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on enhancing the clarity of your ideas. Sometimes, your points are a little hard to follow due to slightly awkward phrasing or a lack of explicit connections between sentences and paragraphs.
complete response
Provide a more balanced discussion for both sides. The essay seemed slightly tilted towards explaining the second group's viewpoint in more detail than the first group's viewpoint.
introduction conclusion present
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which help in maintaining a solid structure for your essay.
logical structure
Your essay does a good job of addressing both perspectives on the issue, demonstrating your understanding of multiple viewpoints.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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