More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

this

era, it is a threatening issue to have obesity in children and dangerous for the richest countries.

This

point has various causes and effects which affect the countries in many ways.

This

essay will include relative reasons and appropriate examples in the following paragraphs. To embark with, obesity is a disease that means increasing the weight of the body.

This

is because a segment of children died in the developed country. According to BBC News, there are 60% of under 18 age passed away due to

this

sickness in the United States of America throughout the year.

Thus

, it is clear that

this

type of issue influence the nation's economy and

also

the population.

However

, it is fact that the problem of obesity is a serious factor for individuals who have toddlers and suffering from

this

In addition

, the government should help the survivor and give free treatment.

For instance

, several states depict that a plethora of companies arranged a fund as a charity to help the kingdom.

Hence

this

matter can be minimised by gathering funds and supporting them. In conclusion, becoming overweight is not a simple issue for the under age of 5 but which impact their family emotions and attached to the countries value, too. As per my perspective, it should be a possible solution for

this

so the developed country can concentrate on their duty to upgrade the system.

Submitted by borasedinesh00 on Tue Sep 14 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
processed foods
fast food culture
screen time
metabolic disorders
healthcare expenditure
lifestyle diseases
preventative strategies
nutritional education
public health policy
body mass index (BMI)
emotional well-being
stigmatization
exercise regimen
eating habits
junk food
socioeconomic factors
health literacy

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

As parents, they should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.