IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Over the past 50 years, young people gain status and power but old people have lost.What is the cause and it is a good or bad development?

#years #people #gain #status #power #development
The knowledge-based society over the
last
 few decades has become an integral part of the rising debate in the present world. While proponents of the arguments are in favour;
however
, the opponents are completely against the relevance of the status gained by younger people compared to the old. In my opinion, the increasing fame of young people has more positive impacts than negative ones around the globe. To commence with, there are a number of arguments in favour of my belief. The most prominent one is that the increase in dignity has led young nations to influence more masses to work hard. According to the research conducted by Western Sydney University, the Youngest crew getting a lot of power is because of social media.
Secondly
, these young guys and girls are influencing a lot of community towards it and show them how to do it , helping the public to grow. And if the old population use their experience towards helping the younger nation it may benefit them on another level.
On the other hand
,critics may point out that one of the most significant disadvantages of the youngest group getting famous is that many other societies are leaving their source of income and studies to get famous and earn money, not all are successful in doing
this
 has maintained their glory and losing all the things they have.
For instance
, a survey conducted in the united states reveals that old communities have so much experience in growing their own power and dignity in a systematic way so it is hard for them to lose these things as compared to the younger nation. To conclude, even when there are a lot of demerits associated with the things the younger population are doing to get stardom ,but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages and young people has become a crucial part of life.
Therefore
, efficient use of stardom and power should be promoted;
however
, its excessive and misuse should be condemned.
Submitted by divya6112 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: