Some countries are considering imposing curfews in which teenagers will not be allowed outdoors at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this policy?

These days,
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
to enact
Fix the agreement mistake
legislation
show examples
legislations
Correct your spelling
legislation
show examples
restricting adolescents’ presence in public at
night
without
supervision
Add an article
the supervision
show examples
of guardians or not is the major controversial issue. Despite the fact that
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
have
Add an article
an objection
show examples
objection
Fix the agreement mistake
objections
show examples
against
this
policy, I firmly support
this
. The primary reason behind my viewpoint is that adopting the policy in which teenagers are not allowed to
Add a missing verb
be presence
show examples
presence
Replace the word
present
show examples
in public places during the
night
, can reduce the crime rates among them. To be more precise, the occurrence of illegal activities
such
as assaulting, street fighting,
drug abusing
Add a hyphen
drug-abusing
show examples
or alcohol drinking among youth is more frequent,
thus
,
this
law can avert them from
such
troublemaking.
This
is proven by the statistics which stated that during the pandemic period the figure for the crime rate among
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation witnessed a
considerably
Change the adverb
considerable
show examples
decline.
That is
why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
embracing
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
policy is highly advisable. Another reason
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why I support
this
legislation is that it can decrease the number of young
victims
. To be more clearer, it is precise that criminals often do their illegal activities
such
as murder, kidnapping or sexual assaulting and teenagers are highly likely to be their
victims
as they are more vulnerable. Visiting public places with the supervision of adults or staying at home at
night
, the probability of occurring
such
incidents could be declined
accordingly
. The survey from statistics showed that the number of young
victims
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
lower in countries where
night
curfews are adopted than those where freedom among teenagers
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
prior.
Thus
, putting these teenager-related law restrictions into practice is a valuable concept. In conclusion, I strongly believe if governments impose curfews regarding youth’s allowance-related restrictions to go outdoors without accompanying adults there would be
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
decline in both the crime rate and
victims
among
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation.
Submitted by nodirbekmsh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: