IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Since traveling abroad has become relatively inexpensive more countries are opening their doors for foreign tourists. Is it a positive or negative trend? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

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In the post-pandemic age, various
governments
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 are weighing the pros and cons of reopening their doors to international tourists. From my perspective,
this
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, on the one hand, will pose significant challenges to
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governments'
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government's
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 ability to manage domestic affairs;
on the other hand
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, flourishing
tourism
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 can to some extent slow down the trend of de-globalisation.
As a result
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 of COVID-19, the increasing isolationism among the international community has been worrying, but fortunately, the trend can be mitigated by cultural exchanges facilitated by international visitors.
This
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 can be illustrated by an interview with a Chinese woman, who said to a journalist from ABC that she had been convinced that Americans were indifferent and only interested in their own benefits. But in Chicago, she saw many volunteers help to pave roads for the blind, which totally shifted her misconceptions about Americans.
This
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 example suggests that personal exchanges brought by international
tourism
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 can effectively dissipate our wrong prejudices that sometimes derive from political propaganda.
While
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 international
tourism
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 offers cultural benefits, it
also
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 poses certain challenges. One
such
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 challenge is the influx of foreign tourists. To illustrate, in 2023 a couple of South Koreans were attacked by a Japanese extremist who regarded all South Koreans as enemies. What is worrying is that with the rising tensions between countries like Japan, China, and South Korea,
this
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 kind of assault could unfortunately continue to occur.
Therefore
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,
governments
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 must take effective measures to prevent
this
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 kind of tragedy when they benefit from the revenue from foreign visitors. To summarise, the popularity of global
tourism
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 stimulates cultural exchange after the pandemic, but it sometimes can
also
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 lead to crimes
due to
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 extremism or xenophobia, thereby
governments
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 should actively take effective actions.

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task achievement
While your essay is well-structured and you provide a nuanced opinion, try to ensure that each of your main points is equally developed for balanced arguments. Perhaps expand on how governments can manage both positive and negative outcomes.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is strong, but keep an eye out for any minor inconsistencies. For instance, introducing transitional phrases can sometimes aid clarity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are very well-constructed, clearly establishing and summarizing your perspective.
task achievement
Your points are supported by relevant and clear examples which significantly bolster your argument.
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