Cities are becoming overcrowded. What are the causes of this situation, and what can be done to improve this situation?

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For decades, the number of

people

Use synonyms

has been increasing significantly, creating an overcrowded world with limited food and energy supplies. A stigma around several societies is one of the reasons regarding

this

Linking Words

issue, and there is a way to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem, which will be explained

further

Linking Words

on.

To begin

Linking Words

with, uncontrolled births in many families are the effect of a stigma that has been around for centuries, especially in developed countries. Indonesia is one of the most overcrowded countries in the world, and the reason for

this

Linking Words

issue is that many

people

Use synonyms

believe that more children will bring more blessings and prosperity to their lives.

This

Linking Words

principle has been passed for generations, and yet there are no experiments to prove

this

Linking Words

theory.

Therefore

Linking Words

, solving the overcrowded cities could be started from their society. To overcome

this

Linking Words

matter, education holds a solid position to increase awareness in society, especially for the

people

Use synonyms

in rural areas. The government and social organizations could inform the risk of having too many children and introduce them to the birth-controlling program to prevent

this

Linking Words

matter. Other than that,

people

Use synonyms

should be introduced to birth-controlling technology,

such

Linking Words

as hormonal pills and vasectomy. In conclusion, a stigma that has been around for centuries can lead to many uncontrolled births and overcrowded cities, and society should have enough awareness to tackle

this

Linking Words

issue and improve

people

Use synonyms

's welfare in each layer of the city.

Submitted by writingielts0 on Sun Jan 14 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your intro did not thoroughly set the context, and the causes of overcrowding were not clearly explained. The suggested solutions were only tangentially related to the issue of urban overcrowding and lacked depth and specific detail.

coherence cohesion

Improve logical flow between paragraphs with better linking expressions, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded and explained thoroughly. Use cohesive devices effectively to demonstrate a clear relationship between ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

235 words

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Cities are becoming overcrowded. What are the causes of this situation, and what can be done to improve this situation?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Write about the following topic: More and more people are moving from rural areas to live in cities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be solved? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and dtermination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that children should study in school the subject of science of food and how to prepare it properly. Other think it is a waste of time, because there are more important subjects to study. Discuss both views and give your opinion with reasons and relevant examples."