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Writing Samples
Band 6

Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions for this ?

#students #school #money
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Nowadays, students leave their academics without having expertise
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 managing their own
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons for
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, including less involvement in monetary
transactions
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 and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
subjects
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 related to
money
Use synonyms
 during their study.
This
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 dissertation will
also
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 discuss the solutions for same as,
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
 of
such
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 topic in their curriculum and giving pocket
money
Use synonyms
 to
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
 by their
parents
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. On the one hand, the reason for less learning of monetary
transactions
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 of students in schooling is less involvement in
such
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transactions
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becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 the
parents
Use synonyms
 believe that their child is not much mature in dealing with
such
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transactions
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, chances of theft and misuse of
money
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 will
also
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there
Add a missing verb
be there
show examples
.
For instance
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, engagement in gaming activities is one of its examples.
In addition
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,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
subjects
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 in their curriculum
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
another drawback. As schools consider
this
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 topic less
vaulable
Correct your spelling
valuable
 and give importance on other
subjects
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such
Linking Words
 as, Maths, Science, and several more which is
essentail
Correct your spelling
essential
 to grow their career.
Thus
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, students leave high
school
Use synonyms
 without having much expertise
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 managing their
money
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the solutions for
such
Linking Words
 are including,
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
 of
subjects
Use synonyms
 on the
ways
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 of managing
money
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 during children schooling.
Furthermore
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, giving pocket
money
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 by
parents
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 to their infant. To exemplify,
parents
Use synonyms
 can give pocket
money
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 to their
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 to manage expenses
such
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 as their
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 fee, stationery expenses, and several more. As well as teachers can give assignments to youngsters like managing small
school
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 projects,
such
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 as organisation
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
 on planting trees.
Therefore
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, by these
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ways
Add a comma
,ways
show examples
 scholars will learn the
ways
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 of handling
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
Although
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 some
parents
Use synonyms
 believe that
youngstes
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 are not much mature during their high
school
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 to operate
such
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transactions
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; as well as,
high
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the high
show examples
school
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also
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 consider there are other
subjects
Use synonyms
 which are more essential, compared with
money
Use synonyms
.
However
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, giving some
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
responsibility
 and introducing about
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
 and
ways
Use synonyms
 of operating it is
also
Linking Words
 required.
Submitted by niksmd1991 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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