Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no denying that social norms and educational standards have evolved significantly.
While
Linking Words
some believe that intense
competition
Use synonyms
can enhance children's abilities, others argue that
cooperation
Use synonyms
should be prioritized. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
has its benefits,
cooperation
Use synonyms
is more important in the long run. The reasons will be elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
competition
Use synonyms
can be a powerful motivator for personal improvement. When
individuals
Use synonyms
compete, they often push themselves to excel, driven by the desire to outperform others.
For instance
Linking Words
, students may strive to achieve better grades when they see their peers doing well, which can lead to academic growth. A study by National Taiwan University in 2020 showed that students' performance improved by 15% in a competitive environment
due to
Linking Words
regular testing and peer comparison.
Thus
Linking Words
,
competition
Use synonyms
can foster a sense of drive and ambition, ultimately benefiting society by producing high-achieving
individuals
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
cooperation
Use synonyms
is crucial for achieving broader success, as it involves working together to achieve common goals. In a cooperative setting,
individuals
Use synonyms
can leverage each other's strengths and compensate for weaknesses, leading to innovative solutions.
While
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
can enhance individual performance,
cooperation
Use synonyms
fosters a sense of community and shared responsibility, which is essential for long-term success.
For example
Linking Words
, in a basketball game, a team with players who collaborate effectively is more likely to win, even if they lack a star player.
Cooperation
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, creates a more significant
overall
Linking Words
advancement by combining individual talents for a collective benefit. In summary,
while
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
can be an effective tool for personal growth,
cooperation
Use synonyms
is essential for achieving comprehensive and lasting success. A balanced approach that incorporates both
competition
Use synonyms
and
cooperation
Use synonyms
can help
individuals
Use synonyms
and society as a whole reach their full potential.
Submitted by iih310614 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay provides clear, comprehensive ideas and discusses both views, expanding on the examples and providing more specific details would strengthen the answer.
coherence cohesion
Using linking words more effectively to connect the different paragraphs could enhance the fluidity of the essay. Additionally, integrating the conclusion more seamlessly with the body paragraphs can help improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, offering a strong foundation for the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: