Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is no denying that social norms and educational standards have evolved significantly.
While
some believe that intense competition
can enhance children's abilities, others argue that cooperation
should be prioritized. In my opinion, while
competition
has its benefits, cooperation
is more important in the long run. The reasons will be elaborated in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with, competition
can be a powerful motivator for personal improvement. When individuals
compete, they often push themselves to excel, driven by the desire to outperform others. For instance
, students may strive to achieve better grades when they see their peers doing well, which can lead to academic growth. A study by National Taiwan University in 2020 showed that students' performance improved by 15% in a competitive environment due to
regular testing and peer comparison. Thus
, competition
can foster a sense of drive and ambition, ultimately benefiting society by producing high-achieving individuals
.
On the other hand
, cooperation
is crucial for achieving broader success, as it involves working together to achieve common goals. In a cooperative setting, individuals
can leverage each other's strengths and compensate for weaknesses, leading to innovative solutions. While
competition
can enhance individual performance, cooperation
fosters a sense of community and shared responsibility, which is essential for long-term success. For example
, in a basketball game, a team with players who collaborate effectively is more likely to win, even if they lack a star player. Cooperation
, therefore
, creates a more significant overall
advancement by combining individual talents for a collective benefit.
In summary, while
competition
can be an effective tool for personal growth, cooperation
is essential for achieving comprehensive and lasting success. A balanced approach that incorporates both competition
and cooperation
can help individuals
and society as a whole reach their full potential.Submitted by iih310614 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While the essay provides clear, comprehensive ideas and discusses both views, expanding on the examples and providing more specific details would strengthen the answer.
coherence cohesion
Using linking words more effectively to connect the different paragraphs could enhance the fluidity of the essay. Additionally, integrating the conclusion more seamlessly with the body paragraphs can help improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, offering a strong foundation for the argument.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!