Some people say that schools should teach good behavior to children and introduce them to "right" and "wrong". Parents should not be the only once responsible. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #behavior #children #right #parents

It is said that educational institutions need to help

parents

upbringing

children

with the right

life

positions, not only

parents

responsible for that. In my opinion, schools having appropriate skills and being a major member of

children

's lives should be an important side in pupil's parenting by collaboration with families.

To begin

with, teacher shaving appropriate education and having necessary professional skills would be more helpful for

children

than some

parents

who suffer themselves from the absence of appropriate

behaviour

or social

life

's skills.

In other words

, some

parents

having sad relationships or

life

experience in their past may have not a right

life

assumption and

then

inadvertently transfer their opinion to their

children

developing antisocial

behaviour

, fairs or

furthermore

a sense of self-doubt.

As a result

, youngsters seek positive attitudes on other sides

such

as from friends, peers or teachers, and if their teachers being mature adults with needed qualifications need to help them with their

upbringing

and explain to them not only math and physics but

also

behave in

life

's essentials and values.

Hence

, institution

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a vital part of a person's development and it is

scools'

Correct your spelling

schools

workers considered to be the

second

family to the young generation.

In addition

, I tend to believe that due to the process of education and

upbringing

inextricably linked, it is crucial for the

children

that school plays a vital role in

upbringing

by cooperation with the family.

This

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

being a vast piece of growth in the school toddler mostly learn to communicate in society within the school's walls and it is teachers who can observe on the

first

-row pupil’s social interaction with peers and could notice some problems in their

behaviour

and help them to develop appropriate

life

’s attitudes.

Thus

, neglecting to teach moral values alongside academic concepts in schools is hurting students and causing problems in society.

For example

, scientists have proven that emotional intelligence is more important than IQ in predicting success. In conclusion, institute

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

an enormous contribution in a student's

life

and being

such

an essential factor in their lives I think that schools should help

parents

to grow and develop in a proper way by forming a right

behaviour

of the future generation.

Submitted by ainash3107 on Sat Jun 12 2021

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

370 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

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Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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