IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Young people are much more aware of and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. What is your opinion?

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Young individuals are more aware of social problems
such
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 as the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than the older generation.
Moreover
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, they are much concerned and involved in these
issues
Use synonyms
 compared to
people
Use synonyms
 in the previous era. In my opinion,
this
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 theory is true, and
this
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 essay shall discuss the rationale behind my viewpoint. In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 period, because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advanced technology, every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
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 in society get knowledge of surroundings accurately and quickly.
Therefore
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, young
people
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 are becoming very much aware
about
Change the preposition
of
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 the
issues
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 around them because they are the common users of technology.
Additionally
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, youngsters are more involved in social problems.
For example
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, the pollution control campaign organised by
thee
Correct your spelling
the
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 green NGO by school children is very famous at present. There are a lot more examples from teenagers with their involvement in charity and palliative programs. So, nowadays, young adults are more concerned
in
Change preposition
about
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 social trouble
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then
Replace the word
than
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 older citizens. Another group of young
people
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 are very much
in to
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into
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 the
wild life
Correct your spelling
wildlife
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 and animal protection. Their gatherings put
forwarded
Change the form of the verb
forward
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 a lot of suggestions and many of them made
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
legislation
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legislations
Correct your spelling
legislation
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 and regulations.
Finally
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, in
this
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 online era, it is very easy to connect to other nations and individuals to create a worldwide movement in general
issues
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. In conclusion, compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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senior citizens,
people
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 less than 40 are more concerned about
Correct article usage
the
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problems of a country.
However
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, guidance from seniors provides a clear picture of these
issues
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 to youngsters.
Therefore
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, in the coming
years
Add a comma
,years
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 we can observe more and more young
people
Use synonyms
 involving in social concerns.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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