Some people think that young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Introduction

A country is heavily dependent on young

people

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This

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issue causes some individuals to prefer to get a higher education and others tend to start searching for a job to serve society. The following essay will explain both points of view.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

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with ,It is clear that get a higher education can increase our knowledge and our perspective.

Consequently

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people

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with a bachelor degree tend to get jobs easier and have a chance to get a high paid career.

Furthermore

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, they can give a brilliant idea to the country to improve welfare society.

For instance

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, there are more job vacancies for students who have high study and has a chance to work for the government. As can be seen, these are the benefit that young

people

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could get if they go to higher discipline.

Body paragraph 2

In the other hand, start working

instead

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of continuing study at university have some benefit.

Firstly

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, they have more experience with real problems and obtain more practical skills. So

this

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may lead them to have a professional career.

Secondly

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, the person who chooses to start working is likely to earn money as soon as possible.

As a result

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, they are ready to live independently on their own wage.

For example

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, in Indonesia, most

people

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tend to start working as soon as possible and found it easier to earn money and to get promotions to a higher position. These benefits could be the reason why some

people

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tend to start working.

Conclusion

To conclude,

although

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both decisions have their own advantages and opportunities, I strongly believe , it is better for young

people

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to continue their education at university, so they can contribute on a bigger scale that could give more impact on the societies

edobi

Sep 15, 2021

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Your opinion

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

higher education
vocational training
skillset
employment landscape
economic contributions
hands-on experience
critical thinking skills
practical knowledge
tuition fees
trade professions
essential workforce
academic qualifications

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