Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
Earning huge
money
Use synonyms
while
having less free Linking Words
time
is more beneficial than having more Use synonyms
time
to spend with a low salary. Use synonyms
Although
more Linking Words
money
is necessary to have a luxurious Use synonyms
life
, I am personally of the opinion that more leisure periods are much more important for a happy Use synonyms
life
.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, These days many Linking Words
people
are running after Use synonyms
money
without caring about their personal lives. For the purpose of living a luxurious Use synonyms
life
both men and women are working overtime to get high incentives, which leads to a stressful Use synonyms
life
, Use synonyms
people
who do not have free Use synonyms
time
to spend have having high chance of the victims of stress and strain. Use synonyms
For instance
, consider Elon Musk who is one of the prominent wealthiest personalities all around the world once said in an interview that he would barely sleep only 3 to 4 hours a day. Linking Words
However
Linking Words
money
has an indispensable role in everyone's Use synonyms
life
, I strongly believe that having free Use synonyms
time
to spend is much necessary.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
People
tend to have a less paying job for the purpose of fewer working hours. Men are working for low salaries to have flexible office timings, Use synonyms
this
makes them spend more Linking Words
time
with their family and friends which leads to coping with mental stress. Use synonyms
In addition
, Linking Words
people
who have less pay with fewer working hours are planning to earn Use synonyms
money
in their free Use synonyms
time
. which made them to solve their financial issues. Use synonyms
For example
, Chris Pell is an English Test Examiner, but in his free Linking Words
time
, he used to teach children in online classes.
In conclusion, Earning a high amount of Use synonyms
money
is not much more necessary than having free Use synonyms
time
to spend. I believe that Use synonyms
money
is important but it never replaces the Use synonyms
time
that we have to enjoy ourselves.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of discussing both views and stating a clear opinion, which is integral for a high score in task response. However, be cautious to develop your main points further with more detailed supporting examples and reasoning to fully satisfy the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
You have a coherent structure, with distinct paragraphs and mostly clear transitions. To improve your score, consider refining your linking phrases for smoother transitions and ensuring each paragraph fully develops a single main idea.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion clearly frame your argument, emphasizing the importance of having more free time over earning more money, which is an effective strategy in both coherence and task response.
supported main points
You've used relevant examples to support your points, such as referencing Elon Musk and Chris Pell, which enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of your argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.