Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

Some sportsmen can have enormous salaries

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

If they

good

Add a missing verb

are good

show examples

at with their speciality especially while other successful

people

earn less money. A number of

people

are discussing that

wheather

Correct your spelling

whether

this

situation

fair

Add a missing verb

is fair

show examples

or not. Sports is

international

Correct article usage

an international

show examples

subject around the world and sportsmen’s earnings is the most argued issue. It is accepted that salaries or wages that are given to the sportsmen

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not a big deal. There

are

Change the verb form

show examples

two main

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

thought.

Firstly

, some

people

want to improve

Correct article usage

the sport

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

sector and provide fresh blood to teams. Nobody wants to see sport’s decreasing trend.

Secondly

, sports professionals have

really

Add an article

a really

the really

show examples

risky and hard

occupation

Fix the agreement mistake

occupations

show examples

. They have to be agile while they are performing.

On the other hand

, a plethora of

people

are believe

Change the verb form

are believing

show examples

that there are unfair

payment

Fix the agreement mistake

payments

show examples

is given.

Initially

, while a number of

people

are discussing

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

wages, the rest of the

people

are struggling to be alive. There are food

crisis

Fix the agreement mistake

crises

show examples

, water problems etc and more attention must be given to poor

people

Moreover

, there are many professions that

Add a missing verb

are more

show examples

important than sports,

such

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

sector.

This

is because they save

Correct your spelling

lives

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

and they deserve more attention and salaries. In conclusion, sportsmen’s payments have

diversity

Replace the word

diverse

show examples

situation

people

. While the most important issue is being alive in the hard geographies, other’s priority is supporting sport and spending more money. In my opinion, there is

Remove the article

apply

show examples

unfair payment. Everybody should pay enough attention to the sportsmen and they should be aware of the rest of the population.

Submitted by basakdiclesahin on Wed Sep 15 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women to what extent do you agree or disagree?
nature has blessed both men and women with individual characters, which set them apart. All these different characteritics enable them to do different tasks according to their offinities. Due to this some people opine that it would be best for both sexes to invole themselves in those tasks which suit their peosonality and skills. Others, however, think that both are equal and can do each other's job as efficiently as thy cn do their own. Therefore, let us analyse the task from both perpectives in order to reach to a relevant conclusion.
7
band
Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, advertisements have grown a lot in people's lives. While there are some drawbacks associated with advertisements, I believe the main benefits are more substantial.
<4
band
Nowadays, some people believe that governments should invest taxpayers’ money in healthcare, while others believe that money should be used in other areas.
Where should the governments to found taxpayers’ money has always been argued. There are now people proposed to apply tax income to healthcare service. Opponents suggest the money should be invested to elsewhere. In my opinion, decision makers should invest government budget on medical services, as well as other area.
5
band
Whether or not someone achieves their aims in life is mostly a question of luck? To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that some people think that achieving their aims in life needs some luck and others think opposite .In my point of view, I totally disagree with the statement in spite of two reasons such as hard work and support from others.In the next paragraph,I will discuss the reasons in detail.
<4
band
Some people believe that academic knowledge is the key to success, while others think that practical skills are more important. Do you agree or disagree?
This topic is currently one of the global issues. Studying at the right university can be the foundation of success. Because it develops our theoretical knowledge.

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, some people believe that governments should invest taxpayers’ money in healthcare, while others believe that money should be used in other areas.

Whether or not someone achieves their aims in life is mostly a question of luck? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that academic knowledge is the key to success, while others think that practical skills are more important. Do you agree or disagree?