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Band 6.5

With the increasing use of and development of new technology, many machines are now able to do the work which people use to perform. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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The 21st century has shown the significant development of technology along with the increase in users,
this
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 proof that machines are now can replace
people
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 and do work which
people
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 used to perform. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument. On the one hand, the advantages of using machines possibly reduce the risk rating and develop new types of jobs.
Firstly
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, some jobs are related to damage respiratory
such
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 as firefighter or builder should be replaced by
robots
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. These may decrease the proportion of cancer and diseases in terms of the lung.
This
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 way,
people
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 can’t concern about their health system and the cost relating to insurance can be depleted.
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, with some fields regard to science or medication,
robots
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 can do better than humans to some degree
such
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 as calculate speed or researching.
Secondly
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, for countries that don’t have a large number of citizens,
robots
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 can be a great method for replacing
people
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 but can still develop economies.
On the other hand
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, there is no doubt that if
robots
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 can alter
people
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 in all fields, there would be a bad perspective on the world.
Firstly
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,
people
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 can easily lose their job and no more having a high salary.
People
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 will be worried, but in terms of money and manufacturing, it will be a plus for companies.
Secondly
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, Stephen Hawking warned that if
people
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 control
robots
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 in wrong ways and let
robots
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 can upgrade by themselves that
people
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 can’t catch up, it would be a disaster, by having stunning wisdom perhaps
robots
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 can dominate the world and enslave humans someday. In conclusion, if
people
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 want to use
robots
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 to alter
people
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 work, they need to manage and control it effectively unless it would be counterproductive and may lead to some dangerous issue

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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