IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In the future ,we will havr more and more leisure time as machines replace many of the tasks we do at home amd at work.Discuss thr challenges and benefits this will bring

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In no distant time, the use of
technology
Use synonyms
 will take up most of our household chores and office duties. The question of the possible merits and demerits has sparked a substantial debate. Advocates argue that it will make life less stressful,
while
Linking Words
 opponents refute that it would lead to the majority of the population being overweight. Analyzing these viewpoints will give valuable insights into the subject matter. On the one hand, proponents of
this
Linking Words
 perspective argue that the use of machines at home,
as well as
Linking Words
 in the offices, would eliminate unnecessary stress.
For instance
Linking Words
, having a dishwasher and washing machine at home ensures that I sleep early and
be
Wrong verb form
am
show examples
 well-rested for work the next day. Clearly, they would have to stay awake all night trying to complete
this
Linking Words
 task if not for the help of
technology
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, why
this
Linking Words
 is beneficial.
However
Linking Words
, critics of
this
Linking Words
 standpoint have raised valid concerns, that many individuals will become obese,
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of physical activity.
For example
Linking Words
, results from my recently completed capstone project show that middle-aged women have become increasingly obese ever since the Sudbury district county enforced washing machine installation in all apartments. Obviously, individuals would be involved in more physical activities if not for the advent of
technology
Use synonyms
 and
thus
Linking Words
, why
this
Linking Words
 is a drawback. In conclusion, as modern
technology
Use synonyms
 advances and takes over most duties at home and in the offices, more leisure time will soon be available. The question of whether
this
Linking Words
 would be beneficial, or a demerit has prompted considerable debate. Many champion
this
Linking Words
 development because it would make life more comfortable,
whereas
Linking Words
 others refute it because it might increase the chances of obesity. Examining both frames of reference has given the possible advantages and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 development in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each discussing a single point. This makes it easier to follow your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are more explicitly defined. The introduction should outline what you will discuss, and the conclusion should summarize your main points and state your position clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. While you provided some examples, they could be expanded with more detail or additional evidence to strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. While you've covered challenges and benefits, delve deeper into how these impacts could specifically alter society or individuals' lives to make your response more complete.
Task Achievement
Aim for clarity and comprehensiveness in expressing your ideas. This can be achieved by using a range of sentence structures, clear transitions between paragraphs, and precise vocabulary to convey your points effectively.
Task Achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to support your argument. While you've mentioned a capstone project and general use of technology, additional research or case studies could provide stronger evidence for your claims.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: