Some people think that it is beneficial for children to play games online, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Offspring have been playing
games
throughout history. They have played games
online since the invention of computers and mobile devices. Although
internet
gaming is thought by some to be advantageous for offspring, others think it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I think that multiplayer network games
can bring more problems for kids compared to any advantages.
Admittedly, there are some basic benefits of children playing games
online. Firstly
when a child plays internet
computer games
, he develops problem-solving skills. In fact, there are many games
to choose from where players must strategically think about what they must do to win the games
. For instance
, in the online game Total War: Warhammer 3, the player must survive battles by choosing the right weapons to defeat the foe, setting up defences to protect oneself, and attacking at the right moment. Hence
, children develop cognitive skills in pursuit of winning the game, which many people believe is an adventitious exercise for young minds.
Nevertheless
, despite the advantages above, I believe youngsters could face serious drawbacks from digital games
. One potentially dangerous issue is that computer online games
are addictive. In fact, nowadays, offspring have been spending too much time sitting in one place and looking at the screen for too long. Many of them can’t live without online games
. As a result
, they give up other previously enjoyed activities and social relationships and get poor academic performances at school. Another obvious issue is that playing games
on the internet
may damage kids’ health
. Youngsters become overweight or obese from not enough physical activity because they are engrossed in online activities for long periods of time. In addition
, bright, and flashing games
damage kids’ eyes from looking at the screen for too long. Many kids eventually succumb to vision correction and must wear glasses. Thus
, internet
gaming damages both players’ mental health
and players’ physical health
.
In conclusion, the health
consequences of internet
games
far outweigh any of the minor benefits that could result from children playing games
online. Many youngsters enjoy multiplayer network games
, and it is up to the parents to make the best decisions for their offspring.Submitted by mizh.nguyen on
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coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, try to make the progression of ideas within paragraphs smoother. Use more transitional words and phrases to link your points seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of repetition. For example, you use 'internet gaming' and 'online games' interchangeably, but occasionally varying your language can make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively. However, adding more depth to your arguments, such as mentioning psychological studies or expert opinions, could further strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Ensure your examples are varied and cover different aspects of the issue. Perhaps consider including an example of a non-strategic game to show a broader perspective on the types of games available.
task achievement
Your introduction sets the stage well for the discussion and provides a clear statement of your opinion, which is important for task achievement.
task achievement
Use of specific examples, such as the mention of Total War: Warhammer 3, adds authenticity and helps to illustrate your points clearly.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a balanced view by acknowledging the benefits before presenting the drawbacks, which shows a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly states your stance, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.
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