Internet shops will take over physical stores. Do you agree or disagree?

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This

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is the technology age, our lives have been changed by

this

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a lot,

such

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as shopping habit, and the number of

people

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tends to use online shopping is increasing rapidly. Some

people

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say that physical

stores

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like department

stores

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,grocers and boutiques are going to be replaced by online

shops

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one day. I believe that

this

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will happen and I am going to explant why it will happen. There are several factors to lead

this

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phenomenon.

First

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of all, we enjoy the internet brings the convenience nowadays, it has no time limitation as the traditional

shops

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do.Because of

this

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, customers can do shopping any time as they want, especially these days

people

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are busier at work.

For example

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, I usually work late and when I finish work the

shops

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are always closed so shopping in the physical

stores

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is almost impossible for me.

Therefore

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, online

stores

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are more suitable for me and nowadays

people

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's lifestyles.

In addition

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for the

business

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owners

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, online

stores

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can reduce the cost of running because they do not have to pay for the expensive physical shop's rent.

Thus

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more and more

business

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owners

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are willing to do their

business

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online. Another significant factor is online shopping has no geographical requirement.

This

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brings more benefice to the shoppers and the

business

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owners

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, which means shoppers can purchase the products from anywhere, any time all over the world, and the

business

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owners

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can promote and sell their products to the world.

For instance

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, if a

product

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only sells in Hong Kong a physical store

then

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I want to purchase

this

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item I have to fly there and get it. It cost me inconvenience and

also

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the company limited the sell of the

product

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However

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, if

this

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product

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's company set up an online store

such

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as in eBay,Amazon platform, it will be a different story, they will tread more

this

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product

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to other counties and buyers are easier to have

this

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item. As a

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

result online shop is more

advantages

Replace the word

advantageous

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and

efficient

Replace the word

efficiency

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than

Add an article

the

show examples

traditional

store

Fix the agreement mistake

stores

show examples

. To sum up,

people

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's shopping habit has been changed by the technology lifestyle, and online

shops

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have more benefits to both shoppers and sellers than the physical

stores

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Therefore

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, I believe the physical

stores

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will replace by internet

shops

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fankie.cecilFri Sep 17 2021

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

375 words

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Many things that use to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?