IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea?

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Introduction
In the modern era, remote working has become increasingly popular
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, with
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many organisations offering staff the flexibility to choose where they
work
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.
While
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 some believe that working from home offers numerous benefits for employees and their families, others argue that it can lead to increased stress. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both perspectives before offering my own opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On one hand, remote
work
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 offers personnel the opportunity to save time, especially for those with families.
This
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 flexibility allows workers to better balance their professional and personal lives.
Moreover
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, by eliminating the need for commuting, workers can reduce both stress and expenses, ultimately leading to increased productivity.
Additionally
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,
remote
Correct article usage
a remote
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 job can offer a more comfortable and personal
work
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 environment, which can be conducive to improved mental health. Employers,
however
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, must remain vigilant about their employees' well-being and should foster an environment where workers feel supported and connected,
thus
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 preventing feelings of isolation.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, some individuals find it difficult to separate
work
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 from home life, which can result in inefficiency and burnout. Without clear boundaries, it becomes challenging to "switch off" from
job
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work
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, and individuals may find themselves working longer hours.
Furthermore
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, the lack of face-to-face interaction with colleagues can contribute to loneliness and negatively impact mental health. Despite the ability to connect via the internet, real-time conversations provide a richer experience, allowing for better communication and stronger personal connections.
Conclusion
In conclusion, both working from home and the office offer distinct advantages and challenges. Remote
work
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 allows for better
work
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-life balance and cost savings,
while
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 in-office
work
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 promotes social interaction and can boost productivity. Ultimately, the choice between the two depends on individual preferences, priorities, and the nature of the
work
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 involved.

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task response
The main problem is that the essay answers a different question. The topic asks about large companies and industries moving from big cities to other areas, but your essay is about working from home. Read the key words in the question and keep every main point linked to them.
task response
For this topic, write about good and bad points of moving offices and factories outside big cities. Good points may include more space, lower land costs, less traffic, and new jobs for people in other areas. Bad points may include weak transport links, fewer skilled workers, and harm to small city businesses.
task response
Give clear examples that fit the topic. For example, a factory outside a city may have cheaper land, but it may need to pay more to move goods to shops and ports.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear four-part shape: an opening, two main parts, and an ending. The links between ideas are easy to follow. Keep this shape in your next essay, but make sure the two main parts answer the exact question.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has one clear side of the work-from-home issue. For the given topic, make one part about the good points of moving companies and one part about the bad points. Start each part with a direct main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words such as 'On one hand', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' carefully. They work well here, but do not add them too often. Clear order and clear topic words are more important.
task response
You discuss both sides and give a final view, which is a good way to handle a question that asks for good and bad points.
coherence and cohesion
The opening tells the reader what the essay will do, and the ending brings the main ideas together.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are well ordered, and ideas such as time saved, stress, loneliness, and work-life balance are explained in a clear way.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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