One of the consequences of improving medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many
people
support the idea that one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
why we have to improve medical technology and health care
sevice
Correct your spelling
service
services
is trying to make
people
live longer. From my point of view, even it may cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future
disceases
Correct your spelling
diseases
, there are many positive sides for all
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
in
this
world. Nowadays, there is a huge number of elderly groups who pass away without achieving any goals they dreamed
because
Change preposition
of because
show examples
of lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
quality medical care.
Therefore
,
this
is
a
Change the article
the
show examples
main idea
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
scientists have tried so much to make all citizens including them live
further
.
Moreover
, not only
they
Add a missing verb
do they
show examples
want to extend their life
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
the bucked list ,but
also
they want to stay with their family as much as possible.
For example
, some seniors try to keep themselves healthy
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
staying with their
Correct your spelling
grandchildren
show examples
grand children
Correct your spelling
grandchildren
show examples
. In that case, many
people
are
enguaging
Correct your spelling
engaging
doctors and scientists to keep developing medical
cares
Fix the agreement mistake
care
show examples
.
However
,
There
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
are some arguments that
this
will make the world of disease upgrade itself. In fact, when
people
extended their life, it may increase the new virus which any vaccines or health
cares
Fix the agreement mistake
care
show examples
can handle
such
as Ebola, COVID-19 and other diseases exiting
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days. So, there are some citizens
againsing
Correct your spelling
against
to have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
updated vaccination or other new treatments because they are afraid of getting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new illnesses which might make them get worse. In
couclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the idea of developing clinical care is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
controversial topic, yet there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
both positive
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
to consider. In my opinion, it still
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
effective views more than drawbacks for anyone
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
planet.
Submitted by patsam.patsy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
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