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Band 6

Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only; others, however, feel cell phones should be used mostly for work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. ​

#people #cell #phones #work
Billions of
people
 around the world
use
cell
phones
.
This
 wireless handheld
device
 became an essential part of every person’s life.
Although
 one half of the population thinks that
cell
phones
 should be used just for private reasons, I believe that
this
device
 should be needed mostly for work purposes. Mostly,
people
use
cell
phones
 to contact other individuals. With the
use
 of the internet, and many other social networking services like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 WhatsApp, Instagram, Discord and Facebook,
people
 can share photos and videos, have chat or video calls with the other half of the planet. It provides a lot of opportunities that can make life easier.
Furthermore
, using
cell
phones
people
 can watch a variety of entertainment videos and films or play online games to relieve stress.
However
, nowadays
people
 are way too engaged in
cell
phones
 that they spend most of the time with
this
device
 and
this
 kind of lifestyle has some dangers for
people
. Most of the
people
 are heads down staring at their
phones
 most of the time.
Hence
, not only physical problems like scoliosis and vision issues
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental problems may occur.
Instead
, to avoid these problems
people
 should start to
use
 them for solely work purposes where
phones
 will be more useful. In conclusion,
cell
phones
 certainly play a huge role in our life, but the
overusage
Correct your spelling
over usage
overuse
 of
this
device
 can lead to health and mental issues. While it is true that
people
 can
use
phones
 for private reasons, I believe that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be used mostly for work.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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