IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that cell phones should be for personal use only; others, however, feel cell phones should be used mostly for work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. ​

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Billions of
people
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 around the world
use
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cell
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phones
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.
This
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 wireless handheld
device
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 became an essential part of every person’s life.
Although
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 one half of the population thinks that
cell
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phones
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 should be used just for private reasons, I believe that
this
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device
Use synonyms
 should be needed mostly for work purposes. Mostly,
people
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use
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cell
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phones
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 to contact other individuals. With the
use
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 of the internet, and many other social networking services like
,
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apply
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 WhatsApp, Instagram, Discord and Facebook,
people
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 can share photos and videos, have chat or video calls with the other half of the planet. It provides a lot of opportunities that can make life easier.
Furthermore
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, using
cell
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phones
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people
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 can watch a variety of entertainment videos and films or play online games to relieve stress.
However
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, nowadays
people
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 are way too engaged in
cell
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phones
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 that they spend most of the time with
this
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device
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 and
this
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 kind of lifestyle has some dangers for
people
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. Most of the
people
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 are heads down staring at their
phones
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 most of the time.
Hence
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, not only physical problems like scoliosis and vision issues
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental problems may occur.
Instead
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, to avoid these problems
people
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 should start to
use
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 them for solely work purposes where
phones
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 will be more useful. In conclusion,
cell
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phones
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 certainly play a huge role in our life, but the
overusage
Correct your spelling
over usage
overuse
 of
this
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device
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 can lead to health and mental issues. While it is true that
people
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 can
use
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phones
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 for private reasons, I believe that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should be used mostly for work.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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