In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

In recent times,
people
tend to
travel
more often.
This
is because
travel
expenditure decreased and the major benefit of
this
is that
people
can expand their
language
skills.
In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
is a positive development because everybody wants to
travel
. One of the main reasons why
people
are travelling more than ever before is that
travel
costs have significantly decreased.
This
is simply because airlines have lowered their operating costs, leading to
travel
tickets becoming cheaper. By limiting the time aeroplanes stay on the ground, companies have to pay fewer fees to the airport, which generates more revenue for the airline company itself.
For example
, machines of Easy Jet only
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
around 45 minutes on the ground before departing again.
As a result
, customers can buy a ticket from Frankfurt to London for under ten euros.
Furthermore
, travelling on a regular basis brings about many benefits,
such
as the possibility to learn or practise a new
language
. In order to navigate through life,
while
being a tourist,
people
need to be able to communicate in the local
language
.
As a result
, they are forced to use
this
language
which can cause massive improvements.
Moreover
, being able to speak more than one
language
makes
people
significantly more competitive in the job market.
For example
, a lot of students choose to go to an English-speaking country after high school, as
this
improves their English skills.
 In conclusion,
people
can
travel
more frequently because the prices for aeroplane transportation have decreased and travellers are benefiting from
language
practice.
Submitted by philipp_becker on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay contains clear and comprehensive ideas, it would benefit from additional depth and detail in addressing the causes and solutions. Try to expand on each point to provide a more thorough exploration of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure by ensuring each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main argument. This will help improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, making the overall structure clear and easy to follow.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided, enhancing the explanation of the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!