IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, people like to eat a lot of food that cannot be grown in their local area. As a result, much of the food that people consume from other countries. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

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In recent years, the number of people consuming imported
food
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 has increased significantly. Some argue that
this
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 trend brings numerous drawbacks,
such
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 as
food
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 supply disruptions and financial issues for local farmers.
However
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, I firmly believe that its advantages, including a diverse diet and affordability, outweigh its disadvantages.
This
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 essay will examine both the benefits and drawbacks of consuming imported
food
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. One of the most significant benefits of consuming imported
food
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 is a diverse diet. Countries like Kazakhstan and Russia are not suitable for growing fruits which require warmer climates. A notable example of
this
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 is bananas a mangoes, rich in vitamins which are essential for enhancing the immune system.
Moreover
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,
this
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 allows people to experience various flavours and cuisines from around the world,
thus
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 fostering cultural exchange. Another critical advantage is affordability.Cultivating fruits and vegetables, requiring special climate conditions in countries like Finland and Norway where the temperature is cold increases the cost.
Therefore
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, consuming imported
food
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 plays a crucial role for middle and lower-class people, allowing them to afford various
food
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 products without facing financial burdens. Despite these clear advantages, consuming imported
food
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 has some notable drawbacks.
Firstly
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, it has a negative impact on local agricultural businesses.
This
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 issue arises because local farmers cannot sell their products, causing them to face severe economic losses which
further
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 affects the country's
overall
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 economy. Another concern is
food
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 supply disruptions, which can arise
due to
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 geopolitical tensions like a war between Russia and Ukraine which affected the wheat supply, resulting in a global
food
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 crisis. In conclusion,
while
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 there are legitimate concerns related to
food
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 supply stability and economic impacts on local agriculture, I strongly believe that the benefits of consuming imported
food
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—
such
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 as dietary diversity, cultural exchange, and affordability—far outweigh the disadvantages. It is essential,
however
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, that governments implement policies supporting both international trade and local agricultural sustainability to ensure balanced development and
food
Use synonyms
 security.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments, particularly in relation to how imported food contributes to dietary diversity and affordability. This could enhance the relevance of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on smoother transitions between your points, particularly in the body paragraphs, to improve the flow of your essay. Linking words such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition' could help.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a good introduction that outlines your position and a well-defined conclusion that summarizes your main points.
task achievement
You effectively outlined both the advantages and disadvantages of consuming imported food, demonstrating a balanced view of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diverse diet
  • cultural exchange
  • trade relations
  • food security
  • supply chain disruptions
  • agricultural practices
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental issues
  • local economies
  • nutritional value
  • importation
  • imported products
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