In the modern society, young people have a tendency of postponing their parenthood until late 30's or even early 40's. This essay shall deal with the reasons for this phenomenon and the effects this has on the families and societies.
Nowadays, adults are more Involved with
work
until the late 30's or early 40's of their life
. This
essay will explain reasons such
as they are more career-oriented as well as
want to enjoy financial freedom but Its impact on their families and societies.
To commence with, recently, people
have become more career and job-oriented. To explain, Individuals are focusing more towards their work
and growth. Moreover
, each and every human wants to work
at a higher position and enjoy their work
-life
along with
a tremendous pay rate. For Instance
, a survey conducted by the University of California indicates that in the USA 74% of people
under 35 years of age
are more inclined towards making a career and earning huge amounts of money. Hence
, they are not physically and mentally capable enough to do parenting in their letter life
.
Another reason behind this
, Is that they are earning more than enough at that stage of their life
and want to continue that process for a longer period of time. In other words
, even though they are earning more money and living a happy life
, they want to get involved more in their work
and achieve higher positions. For example
, The Government of India published a report in 2023 suggesting that 52% of workers from corporate and government sectors want to continue their jobs until they reach the age
of 30. Therefore
, they need to work
after their retirement life
for their family, Due to
that, In the job market more and more people
are above 50 years of age
and they are less productive as compared to younger professionals.
To conclude
, younger people
want to pursue their careers and want to enjoy their financial freedom for a longer period of time. Because of that, they are not fit for parenting, and another impact of this
trend Is more and more employees are the age
of 50 or more and they are decreasing the productivity of the company.Submitted by birenp046 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the question well, explaining reasons for delaying parenthood and discussing the effects on families and societies. However, ensure that all arguments are fully developed, and try to provide balanced views where possible.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas. Make sure each paragraph clearly conveys its main point, and avoid repetitive phrases. Additionally, make sure your examples directly support the points you're making.
coherence and cohesion
To strengthen coherence, ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument. Also, check for consistent use of tense and grammar to enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are generally effective, make sure to follow this structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and should ideally be linked to the next paragraph.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples and data. Ensure that the examples you provide are directly tied to the argument you're making and are clear and accurate.
coherence and cohesion
Grammar and vocabulary errors can distract from your argument. Review your essay for errors such as unnecessary capitalization, and incorrect word use, and improve your sentence structure for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples and data to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!