IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing games together is a good way to build closer relationships. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. Be sure to use your own words. Do not use memorized examples.

#games #relationships #support
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To begin
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with
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,with
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 some people believe that there is no relation between playing together and creating a strong bond. I personally, do not agree with that point and think
this
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 type of
colse
Correct your spelling
close
 exploser can help to build a solid relationship. I consider
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 way for two reasons that I will explore in the ensuing essay.
First
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 of all, it will give a
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
change
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chance
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 to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 together and know about each other, my personal experience is a compelling illustration.
For example
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, ten years ago when I was in my village, I used to spend most of my
time
Use synonyms
 with a young boy. He is a very good person. One day, I was
palying
Correct your spelling
playing
lying
 beside the pond and accidentally, I fall into the pond. It is worth mentioning,
this
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time
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 I did not know how to swim, but it was my good luck, the boy without caring
himself
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for himself
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 he jump to the pond to rescue me. With
lot
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a lot
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 of struggle I
able
Add a missing verb
was able
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 to survive
this
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 dangerous situation for
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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accident
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,accident
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 he is my
most
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apply
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closest friend. In light of the foregoing, I feel that playing games together helps to strengthen relationships.
Furthermore
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, it helps to improve the
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 to come closer through tackling bad situations or problems of each other.
For instance
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, when I was in university, I had a friend who used to play
Add an article
the game
a game
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game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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 with me. One day I found for some reason he facing
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
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 problem, but he directly did not share it
to
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with
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 anyone.
However
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, I
was
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also indirectly lent
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also
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 indirectly lend him some money which helped him to overcome his situation, which made our relationship
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
stronger. If I could not get
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 opportunity through sports, he would not be my best friend. To sum up, playing together is one of the most
benefical
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beneficial
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
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 to make bonds stronger because it
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 plenty of
time
Use synonyms
 to know each other and
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to come foreword in difficulties.
Submitted by mksabbir3439 on

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