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Band 5

Governments should spend more money on medical research and less on researching the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #money #research #environment
In recent days ,there is a debate regarding that in which
research
 authorities should spend
money
.some people tend to believe that
government
 should use more
money
 for health
research
 and reduce the amount spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 environmental
research
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 partially agree with
this
 reason the reasons I will explain the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, due to various reasons I have supported
this
 statement.
Firstly
,nowadays innovation of technologies and
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
 lead to many health issues
therefore
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should focus utilize more
money
 for medical
research
 for new diseases
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
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 been increasing day by day .For evidence,
in
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apply
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these epidemic period
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this epidemic period
these epidemic periods
show examples
 shows that the necessity of advancement in
hospital
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the hospital
show examples
sector
 so scientists would find new medicines and
vaccine
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vaccines
show examples
 to overcome
this
 situation and more technologies require in
medical
Add an article
the medical
show examples
sector
 to make new searches.
Secondly
,medical
sector
 gives more revenue to the
government
 so if
government
 use
money
 in these
sector
 for them
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
a
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an
show examples
 asset they could utilize these amount for other infrastructures.
However
,
government
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the government
show examples
 should not avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental
research
. In recent days, environmental issues have been increasing so the necessities to find the problems in
environment
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the environment
show examples
 is essential.
For example
,in 2018 fire happened in
amazon
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the amazon
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 forest which
depics
Correct your spelling
depicts
depict
 the lack of to find environmental issues.
moreover
,natural
disaster
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disasters
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 enormously
affect
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affects
show examples
 the revenue of the countries so its
legislations
Correct article usage
the legislations
show examples
 responsibility to protect them. To conclude, they are myriad
of
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apply
show examples
reasons why
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend more
money
 on health
sector
research
however
 the necessity of environmental
reasech
Correct your spelling
research
 could not avoid.it is predicting, in
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
government
 should acquire enough
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 to spend these two
researches
Change the wording
types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research
show examples
.
Submitted by Shalushiva6582 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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