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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is best to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school while others believe that parents should be the ones to teach children to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, maintaining a healthy
diet
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 for
children
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 has become a priority in many societies.
While
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 some people argue that
schools
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 should take the main responsibility for promoting healthy eating
habits
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, others believe that
this
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 role should be fulfilled by
parents
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. Both perspectives have valid arguments, which will be discussed below before presenting my own view. On the one hand,
schools
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 can play a crucial role in shaping
children
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’s eating
habits
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.
Firstly
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,
children
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 spend a large part of their day at school, meaning that their lunchtime and snacks are often provided or influenced by the school environment. By offering balanced meals and limiting unhealthy food options in cafeterias,
schools
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 can ensure that students make healthier choices.
Furthermore
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, health education lessons can teach
children
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 the long-term benefits of a nutritious
diet
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, potentially influencing their decisions outside of school as well.
On the other hand
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,
parents
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 are often seen as the primary role models for their
children
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. From an early age,
children
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 observe their
parents
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’ eating patterns, and these
habits
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 tend to have a lasting impact.
For example
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, if
parents
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 regularly prepare balanced home-cooked meals and limit processed snacks,
children
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 are more likely to adopt similar behaviours.
Additionally
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,
parents
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 can monitor their child’s
diet
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 more closely than teachers, making it easier to adapt food choices to individual needs,
such
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 as allergies or cultural preferences. In my opinion, both
parents
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 and
schools
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 should share the responsibility for promoting a healthy
diet
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.
While
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schools
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 can provide a supportive environment and formal education about nutrition, the values and
habits
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 learned at home are fundamental for long-term lifestyle choices. A collaborative approach, where
schools
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 and
parents
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 work together, would likely have the strongest impact. In conclusion,
although
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schools
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 can encourage healthy eating by controlling food options and providing education,
parents
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 have a unique influence through daily example and guidance. By combining efforts, both can help
children
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 build lifelong healthy eating
habits
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.

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Task response
Task response: The essay talks about both sides and gives a view. To raise the score, make the view very clear and back it with more specific ideas or a small example.
Coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The plan is clear and there are good link words. Try to give one main idea in each paragraph and use more linking within each paragraph to flow ideas
Structure
Clear structure with an intro, body, and conclusion.
Cohesion
Good use of linking phrases to show view (On the one hand, On the other hand, In conclusion).

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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