Traffic jam brings a lot of problems to our life. What are the problems? What are the solution?

As global civilization continues, one of the major challenges faced in the big cities is being stuck in gridlock. Unfortunately,
this
causes a lot of
stress
and unproductivity as people are frustrated and often get to the office late.
Thus
, a possible way to salvage the situation is by encouraging remote and hybrid
work
options so that people do not have to commute to town daily. Will working remotely help resolve
this
problem? One of the problems is, that being stuck in a traffic jam leaves the public stressed and reduces their level of productivity since they have spent hours in an awful jam and often arrive at the office behind schedule.
For example
, my
neighbors
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neighbours
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leave very early to beat the gridlock since they commute to the office daily. Sadly, the
stress
and time wasted affect their
work
output and mental health.
Therefore
, being held up in traffic offers many negative experiences. Fortunately, a possible solution to
this
issue would be working from home.
This
will enable individuals to reside in the countryside.
For instance
, companies that offer remote
work
service
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services
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do not have
deal
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to deal
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with exhausted
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
and unproductivity, since they
work
from the comfort of their home saving time and avoiding
stress
. Clearly, avoiding
stress
offers a good level of productivity.
Hence
, working remotely is the best approach to solve
this
problem. In Conclusion, Traffic jams have become part of our lives. Unfortunately,
this
results
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
many drawbacks
such
as loss of time and mental health challenges and a possible solution would be that everyone needs to
work
from home.
Therefore
, the government should implement hybrid and working remotely in the labour law. So that firms can offer these options to their staff.
Submitted by Eby on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly address all parts of the task. Your essay tends to focus more on the solution (remote work) without fully exploring other potential problems traffic jams cause, beyond stress and productivity loss. Expanding on other problems such as environmental impact, health issues, or economic losses could improve your score.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing strategies. This will improve the flow and structure of your essay. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases, and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by specific examples or explanations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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