IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people’s ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The mass
media
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as television and the Internet, are believed to impact people’s thoughts. I strongly agree
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that radio and newspapers have a profound effect on shaping the audience's ideas.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the significant role of the means of communication in the formation of individual perspectives towards politics, and
secondly
Linking Words
, it will
analyze
Use the right word
analyse
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 the way broadsheets, websites and magazines facilitate the spread of culture and lifestyle. The main reason why digital and print
media
Use synonyms
 influence people’s behaviours and beliefs
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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tabloids
Correct word choice
that tabloids
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 and magazines have an effect on their decisions and
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
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 about politics.
This
Linking Words
 is because the audience will never meet prime ministers or presidents, but anyone who is regularly exposed to the websites and
broadcast
Fix the agreement mistake
broadcasts
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 will have an opinion of them.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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 most of us have allowed them to mould our notions and opinions of events, places and people.
For example
Linking Words
 ,Korean Central Television carries news programmes, documentaries and other programmes praising Kim Jong-il and his father Kim Il-sun and lots of North Koreans have positive views about their government. Another reason why the news is influential in the mind is
audiences
Correct word choice
that audiences
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 around the world
displaying
Wrong verb form
display
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 a common interest in music, clothing styles and films
due to
Linking Words
 using the information
in
Change preposition
on
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social
media
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, advice in publishing affects to change of fashion trends and tastes.
Therefore
Linking Words
, society’s views change depending on the news on the Internet, radio and
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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. A popular figure
such
Linking Words
 as Billie Eilish would never be so well known were it not for the web's extensive reach into every society on the globe. In conclusion, taking into account all written above, I am firmly convinced that the mass
media
Use synonyms
's influence is certainly great.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that the
media
Use synonyms
 impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 forming
politic's
Use the right word
a politician's
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 position and
change
Replace the word
changing
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 trends in
publics
Use the right word
public
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live
Replace the word
life
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.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear plan: one main idea per paragraph and a short intro and conclusion.
focus
Keep to the task. Talk about how mass media can shape both politics and culture, with clear links between ideas.
grammar
Use simple linking words to show the flow between points.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar: fix mistakes like missing words, wrong article use, and word order.
content
Give one clear example for each point and make it fit the point you make.
content
The writer shows a clear position on the topic.
structure
Two body paragraphs show a plan.
content
Some real examples help back up points.
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