In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development?

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After the "Industrial Revolution" and with the mass production of goods, the culture of consumerism influenced the buying habits of the citizens.

As a result

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, they started embracing and purchasing unnecessary consumer goods. I believe that regardless of the profit it brings,

this

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habit is a negative development. Engagement in nonessential shopping activities is a factor contributing to poor working conditions.

Due to

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the growing demand of the market, the factories look for significantly more workers to produce the products. In order to make

this

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as profitable as possible, many factories may look to other countries as a way to outsource labour for cheap.

Consequently

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, underpaying workers and disregarding safety has become a part of the production process only to gain slightly more financially.

Moreover

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, the exploitation of women and children for cheap labour in these factories is increasing at a rapid rate that cannot be sustained. Some people argue that purchasing non-essential items puts the buyer in a state of euphoria. Engaging in large amounts of expenditure on useless materials provides a temporary distraction from everyday stressors.

Therefore

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, it is very common to find individuals in developed countries turning to

this

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activity of shopping whenever they seem to have imbalances in their mood states.

However

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this

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is simply an attempt to seek a temporary escape from their daily routines or in order to suppress certain emotions and feelings.

In other words

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, it is not true happiness.

Additionally

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, spending money on less-needed items can lead to stress and negative emotions in the long run because of the financial implications. In conclusion,

although

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spending money on unnecessary products can have a positive impact on their emotional well-being, the good feeling only for a brief period of time and

this

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shopping habit has negative impacts

such

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as the rise of cheap labour.

ronakdorriiSun Sep 29 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the prompt and clearly states a position on the issue. However, incorporating more relevant specific examples would strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

task achievement

While the essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas, refining the clarity further and ensuring all points are directly relevant to the main argument can enhance the overall task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The essay maintains a logical structure and has an introduction and conclusion, but they could be more engaging. A stronger opening statement and a more conclusive closing remark will add to the coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a well-thought-out logical structure, making it easy to follow the argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion provide a clear framework for the essay, effectively enclosing the main points.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well-supported and tied back to the central argument, which helps maintain coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

The task is fully addressed, and the response is both complete and clear.

task achievement

The essay contains clear and comprehensive ideas that are generally relevant and add to the strength of the argument.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In the past, knowledge was contained in books , Nowadays is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages pf this outweigh the advantages

Online education is becoming more and more popular. Some people claim that e-learning has so many benefits that it will replace face-to-face education soon. Others say that traditional education is irreplaceable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.