Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#people #sense #competition #children #adults

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People

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have different views about how can be valuable for youngsters to learn the skill of competing. While others claim that it would be better for them to develop a sense of cooperation. Personally , I believe that children, who want progress in their life , need to learn more about how to be cooperative than being competitive with others. On the one hand , there are some reasons that why

people

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believe that exposing adolescents to the

competition

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may be favourable for them .

Firstly

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this

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method helps adolescents to expand their comfort zone.

In other words

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, little healthy

competition

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can allow youngers to experience instability and uncertainty and

therefore

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they become independent and grow their personality .

Secondly

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, being competitive may allow youngsters to develop useful skills and how to earn success.

For example

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, experiencing competitive activities learn youngsters how to be resilient and perseverant.

That is

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why teaching the sense of

competition

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can be beneficial for youngers.

On the other hand

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, overexposing to

competition

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can lead to negative emotions and depression. When youngers over competing against and comparing themselves with persons, they become dependant on external sources of validation and in some cases it leads to hostility and greed especially in case of failure , both of which are the enemies of progress .

However

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, being cooperative help students to learn from each other without comparations and pressure to be the winner .

For instance

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, many researchers demonstrated that encouraging cooperation in the classroom leads to greater , more lasting achievement among students.

Thus

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, the best method of education is to teach teenagers to cooperate with

people

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without

competition

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. In conclusion,

although

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that teaching

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

the sense of

competition

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can help them to develop useful skills , I believe that it can lead to negative consequences in some cases and the best path for success in life is by learning to cooperate with other

people

Use synonyms

Submitted by elgalalafatimazahra on Wed Sep 22 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try to hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

“Libraries are irrelevant in the age of the internet and should not be publicly funded.” Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Natural resourses, such as water , forests and oil are being used at an excessive rate. What is the main cause of this problem? How can this issue be solved?

Robots aand artificial intelligence are being developed to replace humans in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?