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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that the priority of the government should be to ensure growing economy. While others believe that the government should focus its effort on uplifting the less fortunate? discuss both views

#people #priority #government #economy #focus #effort
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It is thought that the government has to focus on growing the
economy
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,
whereas
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 others believe that it has to prioritise the issues of the less fortunate in society. In
this
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 essay, I will illustrate both points of view.
To begin
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 with, governments have to consider economic development so as not to suffer from inflation in the long run and meet public needs in the future. In terms of the
economy
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, it has tangible benefits for the people like affordable basic goods.
On the other hand
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, a lot of nations suffer from the lack of basic goods because of inflation
as well as
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 depts which are to some extent caused by bad economic conditions and
this
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 brought about negative impacts for the public
such
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 as increasing the fees for accommodation
in addition
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 to raising the cost of basic nutrition. In order to the aforementioned reasons what the authorities have to do is attain the economic status in order to meet future challenges.
However
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, despite these , others think that it would be better If the government put its effort into meeting the less fortunate needs. Regarding
this
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 point, I am inclined to think neither because , without a robust
economy
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, the governments will not be able to assist those.
For instance
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, in my country, the authorities can not address the less fortunate issues because of debt,a weak
economy
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 and a lack of foreign currency,as well. In order to the given reasons, the figure for the less fortunate is on an upward trend.
Hence
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, what governments have to do is focus on growing the
economy
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instead
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 of other problems. It is
also
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 interesting to note that there is a robust correlation between the
economy
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 and the less fortunate issues. In Japan, it is highly clear that the proportion of the less fortunate is not as high as in a lot of countries and
this
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 is partially
due to
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 a robust
economy
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as well as
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 a handful number of depts. In a nutshell,
although
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 the government has to focus on promoting the less fortunate,it would be better to consider a strong
economy
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nadeenelkenawy4425 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to use a clear structure, which includes a distinct introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a clear conclusion. The logical progression of ideas should be more apparent and transitions smoother.
Task Achievement
Present a clear position throughout the response and ensure that both views and your opinion are well-balanced and fully extended with specific examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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