There are more and more negative news.Some think that would harm the individual and the society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#news #think #society

These days,

people

are often exposed to negative

news

that can affect an individual's behaviour, personality, and community. Some

people

may not agree with

this

topic, but I firmly believe that

people

are easily influenced by bad

news

. They argue that

people

can tell when

news

is not true, even if it leads them in a negative direction.

For example

, if a company makes a false advertisement about a new diet supplement that can help you stay in good shape, not everyone will buy the product.

People

ignore negative

news

and don't seem to care.

However

, in the case of children and

people

suffering from mental illness, it can be detrimental to an individual's behaviour, which can

also

impact the future of society.

Moreover

, if

people

are influenced by

news

about violence or crime, it will cause serious problems for society. Children tend to imitate and act exactly what they see in the media.

Therefore

, if you are continuously exposed to negative information, It leads to mental health issues,

such

as depression or anxiety disorders, impacting individual well-being and productivity.

Also

, Negative

news

can lead to social divisions, as sensationalist or biased reporting may amplify tensions and contribute to polarization within societies. In conclusion,

while

negative

news

can serve as

acatalyst

Correct your spelling

a catalyst

catalyst

for positive change by highlighting areas in need of improvement, I agree that harmful

news

has a negative impact on

people

's behaviour and our society.

people

who publish negative

news

should be aware of the effect on

people

's lives.

Submitted by the_wanderer_in_va on Tue Nov 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay structure includes an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, your logical sequence could be enhanced with clearer transitions and a more explicit progression of ideas. Aim to use a variety of cohesive devices and paragraph structuring to strengthen the flow of your essay.

task achievement

You've addressed the prompt by stating an opinion on the impact of negative news on individuals and society. To improve, ensure your response is fully developed with clear, detailed examples. Each body paragraph should explore a distinct idea with specific evidence to support it. Avoid general statements and strive for deeper analysis to effectively answer the extent to what you agree or disagree with the statement.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Pessimistic worldview
Mental health issues
Public perception
Compassion fatigue
Desensitized
Societal morale
Sensationalist reporting
Social divisions
Democratic accountability
Catalyst for change
Media literacy
Balanced diet of information
Responsible consumption

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