IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There are more and more negative news.Some think that would harm the individual and the society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#news #think #society
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These days,
people
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 are often exposed to negative
news
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 that can affect an individual's behaviour, personality, and community. Some
people
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 may not agree with
this
Linking Words
 topic, but I firmly believe that
people
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 are easily influenced by bad
news
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. They argue that
people
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 can tell when
news
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 is not true, even if it leads them in a negative direction.
For example
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, if a company makes a false advertisement about a new diet supplement that can help you stay in good shape, not everyone will buy the product.
People
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 ignore negative
news
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 and don't seem to care.
However
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, in the case of children and
people
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 suffering from mental illness, it can be detrimental to an individual's behaviour, which can
also
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 impact the future of society.
Moreover
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, if
people
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 are influenced by
news
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 about violence or crime, it will cause serious problems for society. Children tend to imitate and act exactly what they see in the media.
Therefore
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, if you are continuously exposed to negative information, It leads to mental health issues,
such
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 as depression or anxiety disorders, impacting individual well-being and productivity.
Also
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, Negative
news
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 can lead to social divisions, as sensationalist or biased reporting may amplify tensions and contribute to polarization within societies. In conclusion,
while
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 negative
news
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 can serve as
acatalyst
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a catalyst
catalyst
 for positive change by highlighting areas in need of improvement, I agree that harmful
news
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 has a negative impact on
people
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's behaviour and our society.
people
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 who publish negative
news
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 should be aware of the effect on
people
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's lives.
Submitted by the_wanderer_in_va on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay structure includes an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, your logical sequence could be enhanced with clearer transitions and a more explicit progression of ideas. Aim to use a variety of cohesive devices and paragraph structuring to strengthen the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You've addressed the prompt by stating an opinion on the impact of negative news on individuals and society. To improve, ensure your response is fully developed with clear, detailed examples. Each body paragraph should explore a distinct idea with specific evidence to support it. Avoid general statements and strive for deeper analysis to effectively answer the extent to what you agree or disagree with the statement.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pessimistic worldview
  • Mental health issues
  • Public perception
  • Compassion fatigue
  • Desensitized
  • Societal morale
  • Sensationalist reporting
  • Social divisions
  • Democratic accountability
  • Catalyst for change
  • Media literacy
  • Balanced diet of information
  • Responsible consumption
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