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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to alter our character traits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #personalities #genes #character #traits
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Personalities are related to our genes
thus
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 cannot be altered,
this
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 is a
believe
Replace the word
belief
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 of some people whereas others think
otherwise
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. Character is developed, and
therefore
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 it is
natured
Replace the word
natural
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 as we grow nobody is born by ,
for example
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 being apologetic,the environment that one is raised from cultivates good or bad morals.
Lately
Add a comma
,Lately
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 the young generation have cultivated personalities that they have mostly not learnt from their homes or from parents but by what they see on media platforms,a culture of not respecting the old has been introduced by
this
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 generation whereby at one time you will hear them plotting to kill the elderly in pretence they are witches,
these
Correct your spelling
there
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 very common in my country in counties of coast and
nyanza
Change the capitalization
Nyanza
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.
On the other hand
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,changing a person's personality is not a walk in the park because most of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 traits are not developed but acquired,there are people who are generally
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
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 and that's a character, and cannot be changed,it's un inborn thing whereas there are those that are acquired because of one reason or the other. In a
nutshell
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,nutshell
show examples
 personalities are different to each individual and the determining factor could be the place of birth and growing up.
Submitted by Estherwanjohi17 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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