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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some scientists believe that studying 3-year-old children can predict their criminality. To what extent do you think a crime is a product of human nature or is it possible to stop children from growing up to be criminals?

#scientists #-year-old #children #criminality #crime #product #nature #criminals
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There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over indications of budding criminals from the age of three.
Why
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While
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 some claim that crime is determined completely by genetics, others make a statement that there are still several methods to prevent
children
Use synonyms
 from committing crimes. In my strong belief, it is feasible to eliminate latent criminal possibility since the determinant of a person's characteristics is how he has been brought up.
While
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 some people have a tendency to blame criminals on hereditary features, I think
this
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 is not the primary determinant
that is
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 responsible for their wrongdoing. Obviously, there has been no ground research about the interrelation between genetic properties with the possibility of being a lawbreaker. On top of that, it is apparent
to note
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apply
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that only when
children
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 have their full cognitive development might they be able to observe the surrounding environment and mimic illegal actions from adults.
Therefore
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, it is reasonable to argue that genes play no role in indicating future offenders.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable to claim that deterring
the
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apply
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kids from
convicting
Verb problem
committing
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 crimes is feasible as their behaviour patterns are shaped through their education and family backgrounds. Should the kids be nurtured in a healthy and educational environment, they will become ethical and law-abiding citizens when they grow up.
Hence
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, guardians
such
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 as teachers and parents play a paramount significant role in forming these
children
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's characteristics in their early stages.
For example
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, if
the
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apply
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youngsters are fully aware of severe punishments for offenders, they might avoid the intention of illegal acts.
Therefore
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, by giving proper education and guidance,
family
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families
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 and schools can control youngsters’ behaviours and undertake necessary measures to correct their faults. In conclusion,
while
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 human nature does not contribute to a person's crime, it depends on upbringing processes, which means it is definitely possible to prevent
children
Use synonyms
 from growing up to be criminals.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the main argument. The essay stays focused on the prompt throughout the response.
task achievement
Good job at addressing the task prompt with a clear stance. Ensure to provide more specific examples to further support your arguments and enhance the depth of analysis.
coherence cohesion
Strong argument presented in the introduction that sets the tone for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Clear and consistent thesis statement that guides the entire essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • genetic predisposition
  • environmental influences
  • nurture
  • upbringing
  • intervention
  • prevention
  • risk factors
  • positive behavior
  • family structure
  • community support
  • psychological perspective
  • sociological perspective
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