IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outwetgh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers #outwetgh
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It is a common belief that self-driving
vehicles
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 could not be replaced as it is a way that customer's
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 could be leaked .
However
Linking Words
, there is a more persuasive opinion that
driverless
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vehicles
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 are actually operated safely. On one side of the argument, in the ever-changing world,
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
 play a vital role. Self-driving
systems
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 would ensure their users a convenient service if they provide their private
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as destinations, working schedules, etc... Those data is vulnerable to hackers.
Moreover
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, people often support the idea that
such
Linking Words
systems
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 could not execute unfortunate situations in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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practical traffics. According to a recent survey, American drivers were
into
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the opinion that they prefer traditional human-operated
vehicles
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 after observing a
driverless
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 car crash news.
Nevertheless
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, it seems
advantages
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advantageous
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 that self-driving
vehicles
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 could supply not only a comfortable experiment but
also
Linking Words
 a secure facility.
First
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 of all, the
costumer 's
Correct your spelling
customer's
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 data would be stored safely in
provider's
Correct article usage
the provider's
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 storage infrastructures with
high security
Add a hyphen
high-security
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systems
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.
Secondly
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,
driverless
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systems
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algorythm
Correct your spelling
algorithm
 could be well-updated daily so that the vehicle could rapidly respond to the shuttle situations.
For instance
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,
a
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apply
show examples
research from the NY times had
showed
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shown
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 that self-driving cars actually decrease the number of traffic accidents
on
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in
show examples
 the same quarter by their quick adapting abilities. To conclude,
although
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 self-driving
systems
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 have their drawback,
but
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apply
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it seems clear that
the
Change to a genitive case
the advantages of the driverless vehicle
the driverless vehicle's advantages
show examples
driverless
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vehicles
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 advantages outweigh their disadvantages.
Submitted by nguyetduong549 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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