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Band 3

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #inventions #phones
One of the core characteristics of
human
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the human
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 race is invention.
Mobile
Correct article usage
The mobile
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 phone is one
such
 product
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 has brought
paradigm
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a paradigm
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 shift in human history. We are now capable of interacting with our near and dear ones on
Add a hyphen
real-time
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real
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a real
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 time basis. We can check their whereabouts and what activities they are involved
on
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in on
show examples
 social websites. Apparently, mobile phones are not without disadvantages. One of the foremost
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
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 of having
handset
Correct article usage
a handset
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 in possession is
capability
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the capability
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 of social connectivity. Due to technological advancement, we can access our e-mail account, bank account, social network websites, etc anywhere in the world.
This
 has reduced dependency on
internet
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an internet
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cafe
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cafes
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 or wired broadband. We can now use these products to set reminders or schedule our meetings without updating
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 in
Correct article usage
the calender
show examples
Correct your spelling
calendar
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calender
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calendar
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 notebook.
On the other hand
,
this
 invention has come up with
psycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
 side effects. Most of the time, people are found for
overusage
Correct your spelling
over usage
overuse
 of
this
 technology. Sometimes people harm themselves
creating
Change preposition
by creating
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 content for social networking
site
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sites
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. Humans are gradually forgetting the art of socializing through small talks. Rather, they prefer to text even though they are sitting in
same
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the same
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 place. Many researchers are positive of harming
brain's
Correct article usage
the brain's
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 capability to think. In my opinion,
moblie
Correct your spelling
mobile
 phones have revolutionized the way we communicate and have reduced
whole
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the whole
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 world into
small
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a small
the small
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village
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villages
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.
However
,
Correct your spelling
over usage
overuse
overusage
Correct article usage
the overusage
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 of
this
 technology can bring harmful effects on
human
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the human
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 race.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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