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Band 7

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers
There has been a significant divergence of opinion revolving around whether affluent
people
 or society contributors like scientists and teachers achieve more
success
.
Although
people
 who devote their lives to the community can become well-known, it cannot justify neglecting the assistant of
money
 for wealthy individuals to succeed.
Therefore
, I reckon rich
people
 gain more
success
 than the remainders. On the one hand, those who assert that scientists and teachers are more rewarded indicate the charismatic figure. A well-known example for
this
 case would be Thomas Edison, a scientist who generated the
first
 high resistance light bulb. His invention was widely spread throughout the world and engendered an easier way to operate human life,
thus
 many
people
 admired him as a hero. It leads to the growing appeals for being a society contributor, especially in today’s world since
people
 want to devote time doing research, transmitting knowledge, and becoming an influencer.
However
, not many
people
 are diligent and intelligent enough to be as famous as Edison, and for that reason, I am concerned they are not more successful than wealthy
people
.
On the other hand
, I reckon making a lot of
money
 and being financially autonomous are pivotal keys to
success
.
People
 cannot purchase triumph by
money
, yet
money
 can make rich
people
’s life easier and more comfortable, assist them in terms of material and spiritual.
For instance
, a wealthy entrepreneur can travel abroad, enhance interpersonal skills, and other essential soft skills. The chance to approach and work in large business groups is more possible, thereby the value of bank account will escalate exponentially and bring back prosperity. To recapitulate, albeit scientists and teachers can be more rewarded due to the public influence, it cannot disclaim the crucial role of
money
 which enables affluent
people
 to reach
success
 easier and faster.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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