IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some countries are considering imposing curfews in which teenagers will not be allowed outdoors at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this policy?

#countries #curfews #teenagers #night #adult #policy
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Some nations have in
notion
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the notion
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 that allowing
teens
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 to go out at
night
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 without adult’s supervision needs to be controlled by passing new laws
such
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 as curfew. I totally agree with
this
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 because it is favourable for teenagers in the areas of behaviour and
safety
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. Adolescents are more likely to make quick decisions without
analizing
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analyzing
, and that can lead them to behave badly. Many young
people
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 on
streets
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the streets
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 at
night
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 are under the influence and engage
with
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in
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 anti-social activities. If decent children go out at
night
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 and join these
people
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, they will
also
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 get used to bad habits
such
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 as pickpocketing or being drunken.
Therefore
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, banning going out alone
particulary
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particularly
 for
teens
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 at
night
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 can significantly reduce the ratio of juvenile criminal activities.
However
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, as children are allowed to go out with caretakers or parents,
this
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 new law will not affect
on
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apply
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their freedom.
Furthermore
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, when young
people
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 are outdoors at
night
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, as they do not have experience
about
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with
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 society,
safety
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 issues can arise. There are fraudsters everywhere at
night
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 and children can be easily
decieved
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deceived
 by these
people
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. Despite there is a gang of
teens
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, still they are vulnerable to
theives
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thieves
 since they have less experience
about
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with
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 their
safety
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especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
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 at
night
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. If teenagers are accompanied by adults, adults can identify threats earlier, and they know how to deal with
such
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 difficult situations.
Thus
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, introducing new laws for
prohibitting
Correct your spelling
prohibiting
 going out at
night
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 can have long-term
safety
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 benefits on
teens
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although
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 it is not a prima-facie attractive idea. In conclusion, the idea of imposing
curfew
Correct article usage
a curfew
show examples
 at
night
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 for teenagers is a wise decision to deter them from going out as it can be dangerous for their attitudes and
safety
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. So, as these young
people
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 play a major role in society in the future, ensuring their quality and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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safety
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 is a government’s responsibility.
Submitted by nilankagw on

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