Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors

Many are of the belief that

happiness

result

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the result

a result

show examples

of financial success, while others claim that are more crucial elements involved in

this

achievement. In

this

essay, I am going to discuss both points of view, and

then

explain why I presume that a certain degree of economic stability is an ordinary requirement for

happiness

but is less important than

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apply

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excellent health and significant relationship. Those who have the perspective that

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

salary can provide

happiness

claim that it affords

comfortable

Correct article usage

a comfortable

show examples

and enjoyable lifestyle. The main reason is a person with considerable earning is able to purchase a marvellous house or a luxurious vehicle,

besides

to experience memorable moments.

According

Add the preposition

toAccording

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them, affluent entrepreneurs and employers living without concerns about the future because they can pay for any service or product,

hence

their lives are filled

Change preposition

with

show examples

joy.

On the other hand

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of people argue that real

happiness

is just a consequence of quality time with family or

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

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and appropriate health. For them, a home filled with luxuries is excellent but the most sustained sense of enjoyment is only achieved by frequent socialization

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apply

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because they recognize that their happiest moments were spent in the presence of loved ones.

Moreover

, individuals who suffer from severe diseases feel intense pain and spend a lot of money

additionally

time with medical treatments,

therefore

, they are unable to experience a pleasant life. In conclusion, I believe both perspectives have their merits.

However

, on balance, I think economic success is merely one of the pillars to achieve the

desired-

Correct your spelling

desired happiness

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happiness

. As far as I am concerned, without health conditions and meaningful interpersonal bonds wealthy human

being

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beings

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never experience

the

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apply

show examples

full

happiness

Submitted by debi_quistina on Sat Sep 25 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think are some possible solutions?

Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?

Some people consider prices as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree

Some people feel that cities should allow for spaces for graffiti while others feel it should be banned. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’ How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?