Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them?

Many
animals
around the world are facing the risk of extinction in the wild, and
this
is happening for several reasons. One major cause is habitat destruction
due to
human activities
such
as deforestation, urbanization, and agriculture. As forests and other natural environments are cleared to make way for farms, cities, or industries,
animals
lose their homes and sources of food, leading to population declines.
Additionally
, climate change is altering ecosystems, making it difficult for some
species
to survive.
For example
, polar bears are struggling as ice caps melt, and many
species
are affected by rising temperatures and changes in weather patterns. Another contributing factor is illegal hunting and poaching. Many
animals
,
such
as elephants and rhinos, are hunted for their tusks and horns, which are sold on the black market.
This
not only reduces the population of these
species
but
also
disrupts their role in the ecosystem. To protect
animals
from extinction, several actions can be taken.
First,
stricter laws and regulations need to be enforced to prevent illegal hunting and poaching. Governments should work together to stop the trade of endangered animal products and punish those involved.
Second,
it is important to protect natural habitats by creating more national parks and wildlife reserves, ensuring that
animals
have safe places to live.
Additionally
, raising awareness about the importance of biodiversity and conservation can encourage people to support efforts to protect wildlife. In conclusion,
while
the threat of extinction is real, there are steps that can be taken to protect
animals
and their habitats. By enforcing laws, protecting natural environments, and educating the public, we can help ensure the survival of endangered 
species
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the use of transition words to improve the flow of ideas and ensure smooth progression between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to substantiate claims about illegal hunting and the effectiveness of conservation efforts.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify the introduction with a brief overview of the essay's main points to set clearer expectations for the reader.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a complete response to the task, addressing both the causes and solutions regarding animal extinction in the wild.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, such as the mention of polar bears and the impact of poaching on elephants, strengthens the response and provides relevance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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