IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
Information
 is a collection of data. While there is a part of society that thinks it will be better to share them in scientific research, business and the academic world unlimitedly, others think that some of them should be secured as of the evaluability and importance. I think the latter part of society is correct and in
this
 essay, I will argue on both sides. On the one hand, people believe in sharing data collections related to scientific innovations, businesses and education. According to them, they should be accessible throughout the nation. But in my perspective, that would be the beginning of a sequence of problems.
For instance
, there was a well-known company that had been provided access privileges for their database to all the employees without restriction. They thought that it would be a great opportunity and would help to develop the company unitedly. But before spending a long time, the company committed bankruptcy. All the mysterious data has been hacked. So it is clear that sharing
information
 has a risk.
On the other hand
, a part of society believes that it is important to protect some
information
 which is inevitably useful without sharing them out of limitation because science, business and education, are some of the crucial parts in most the countries in the world.
For instance
, when there is limited authentication to the database server of the education department, no one will be able to see any particular examination results of students without permission; unless there would have cheatings a lot.
Therefore
 it is better to protect some
information
 without
sharing
Correct pronoun usage
itsharing
show examples
. In conclusion, I have successfully argued on both views and clearly clarified why it is important to secure some
information
that is
 useful.
Submitted by sandhb89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
Look at other essays: