Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities

In few

countries

Add a comma

,countries

show examples

the existence and growth of

supermarkets

are posing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

competition for several small, local enterprises. Some people consider that the loss of local

businesses

can bring severe impacts on local communities. In my opinion, I agree that the closure of local

businesses

can affect the livelihoods of local communities.

However

, I believe that

supermarkets

can support small

businesses

. Small and medium enterprises can lose their

businesses

when competing with

supermarkets

because they are unable to cater to all

different

Correct article usage

the different

show examples

needs and wants of a consumer. They can only sell

their

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

unique

products

that they offer. Whereas, when a customer visits a supermarket, he has the opportunity to shop various

products

and

this

saves his or her time in travel and effort

taken

Add the auxiliary verb

are taken

show examples

for shopping. Large

supermarkets

usually have various outlets throughout the country which means that they have expertise and resources in improving sales and marketing of their

products

. Regardless,

supermarkets

can lend a helping hand to local business owners by allowing them to sell and market their

products

in a supermarket

in addition

to operating their own local stores. Since mass crowds visit

supermarkets

this

provides wider exposure and customer engagement on locally produced

products

and /or

serviced

Change the form of the verb

service

show examples

provided which can improve the sales and marketing of their respective local

businesses

. In conclusion,

supermarkets

can pose a threat to local

businesses

because of their capability to develop quickly and easy shopping.

However

, both

supermarkets

and local

businesses

can work together to improve each other’s prospects by providing the convenience of shopping and

also

supporting local communities.

Submitted by pratheepap007 on Sun Sep 26 2021

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Some people think that it is better for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on diﬀerent days.

The growth of the online shopping will one day lead to the closure of shopping stores in cities. Do you agree or disagree with this?

In some countries, students live with their family while studying at a university. In other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from family home while attending university outweigh the disadvantages?