Some people think that cultural traditions will be destroyed when they are used as money-making machines aimed at tourists, other people believes that it is the only way to save such traditions in the world today. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

These days, the argument over whether using cultural
traditions
as money-making attractions for tourists leads to their destruction or is the key to their preservation has not been settled yet. On the one hand, when
traditions
are developed as commodities to attract tourists, there is a risk of losing their essence. With regard to the former, Traditional practices and rituals may be altered or simplified to meet the demands of the increasing amount of tourism, and
therefore
dilute the significance of these traditional cultures.
Moreover
, attaching too much commercial value to these traditional cultures will obscure their meaning and value, and transform them into simple entertainment. All of these would probably lead to the destruction of traditional culture.
On the other hand
, making money from traditional culture could provide essential financial support for their maintenance and inheritance. To be specific, the income generated can be used to get conservation efforts, support local communities that uphold these
traditions
, and set up local educational programs to pass on the knowledge and skills to future generations.
In addition
, tourism could increase the popularity of these
traditions
, and raise awareness about the importance of these
traditions
, not only among visitors but
also
among the local population, fostering a sense of cultural self-confidence and the determination to preserve them.
As a result
, the
traditions
could survive and be inherited. In my opinion, I believe that people should ideally find a middle ground between letting them become too commodified to make money and using money to keep them survive.
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coherence cohesion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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