Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion

#teenagers #phone

modern

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the modern

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world,using

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a smartphone

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smartphone

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smartphones

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is popular,everyone has their own mobile

phone

This

essay will discuss

benefits

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the benefits

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and drawbacks of obtaining

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a mobile-phone

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mobile-

Correct your spelling

mobile phone

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phone

between

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for

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teenagers.I believe that its positive aspects outweigh negative aspects. On one hand,There are many advantages of using mobile

phone

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phones

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young

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the young

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generation.

First

,they can be able

improve

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to improve

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their

knowlge

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knowledge

about everything only by searching on the internet.

The

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They

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might expand their

knowlegde

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knowledge

about their field of study,their physical and mental health.

Secondly

,they can

learning

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learn

be learning

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several new skills like producing animation so they can earn money from it.Especially noteworthy is that,teenagers who come from

the

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poor background,have a chance to find an online job and helps his o her family.

On the other hand

,mobile-

phone

play some negative roles in teenager's life.Many young adults use their mobile

phone

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phones

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for long hours,

furthermore

,they'll face

with

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apply

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lots of physical and mental problems.According to an article which was related to

this

subject,While students used

smartphone

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a smartphone

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,they couldn't realize that the time passed,they find it for long hours they didn't have any physical activity so they become more and more fat and

unfortunatelly

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unfortunately

in near future,they'll suffer from many diseases

such

as,blood pressure,heart attack and etc.Using mobile

phone

puts negative effects

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show examples

teenager's performance at school.Some teachers agree that smartphones

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are

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our enemy at school and some laws should be taken into consideration to

limited

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limit

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the use of gadgets at educational places for both professors and students. To conclude,mobile

phone

is really popular

between

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among

show examples

young

aduls

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adults

adult

which has some positive and negative effects.According to

whats

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what

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I said above,I believe that the benefits of

smartphone

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smartphones

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outweight

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outweigh

it's

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its

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drawbacks but some laws should be taken.

Submitted by aminpost on Sun Sep 26 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

communication
access to information
safety and security
entertainment
educational opportunities
addiction
excessive screen time
cyberbullying
online harassment
distraction
lack of focus
privacy concerns
social disconnection
advantages
disadvantages
opinion
outweigh
limits
screen time
online safety

What to do next:

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Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your own opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Many people today are worried about the large quantities of waste produced by ordinary households. What problems are caused by household waste, and what solutions may be possible in both the short and the long term?

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and families. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.